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Sensitive and Successful: Episode 7. Do you need an information diet?

4/10/2017

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Do you often feel overwhelmed by too much information? Do you find it hard to sleep after watching TV or browsing through social media, and yet often catch yourself doing this?
In this episode of Highly Sensitive and Successful podcast coach Anastasia shares insights from her new book, Homo Distractus: Fight for your choices and identity in the digital age and discusses why it's very important for highly sensitive people to limit and control their information and tech consumption, and how they can do that without losing touch with their social circle.
And how do you take care of your brain online? Post your tips in the comments!
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Sensitive and Successful: Episode 6. The importance of prioritizing and walking.

4/10/2017

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The world can be overwhelming for highly sensitive people sometimes, especially when deadlines are piling up and a working environment is highly competitive. However, even in such a highly stressful industry as law it’s possible for a highly sensitive person to become successful on their own terms. In the new episode of Sensitive and Successful coach Anastasia talks to London lawyer Tania Golubko on the importance of prioritizing, controlling one’s environment and walking for a career success.
More episodes of Sensitive and Successful available on iTunes.

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What doing a handstand has to do with a successful career

6/2/2016

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Do you dream big, but somehow end up leading the same unfulfilling/mildly fulfilling lifestyle for years?Highly Sensitive People are especially prone to overthinking and postponing their lives until they're ready. Today’s Tuesday Tip is about how to break through whatever you’ve been putting off in your life.

The key thing that you need to understand is that the breakthrough process is not linear. Sometimes if you are stuck in your career or finance, you need to work on entirely different matter
. For instance, Tony Robbins makes his clients do the fire walk. I am not that radical, but have a similar story to share with you. Click below to learn it!
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A right for silence

26/1/2016

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Do you notice how much unnecessary noise you're exposed to on a daily basis?

I was brought up in one of the world’s craziest cities, Moscow, and live in London, another quite intense megalopolis. I enjoy things happening around me, but also need my moments of silence to restore myself, think deeply and be creative. But nowadays, finding silence has become an incredible luxury only available to the most well-off individuals, unless you choose to move out of the city and not do any corporate job.

Have you ever wondered why the most prestigious areas in the city are usually the quietest? Why executive business lounges in the airports have no bright screens/ads/loud music/shouting announcement (very different from normal waiting areas)? Why in the top fashion boutiques and high-end restaurants they play a very low-volume pleasing music, if any? Why is silence valued so high?


Having no excessive stimulation allows our brain to process information we’ve got already, think deeper, and as a result, be creative. Creativity and conscious decision-making requires space in your head. You can’t be creative if you are constantly distracted, because our brains aren’t wired to multitask. You also need silence to better understand yourself, otherwise you stop making conscious choices. Yet, unless you have lots of money, you are condemned to daily distractions, which are presented as something completely normal, and those who say it’s not, get publicly (or silently) shamed.

Forced to listen
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I spent my worst years working in the open space offices – with hundreds of people talking, walking around, listening to music etc., not to mention multiple computer screens that kept causing me severe headaches. How can you possibly expect someone working in such atmosphere to be able to concentrate and come up with amazing work. Our natural rhythms vary between solitude and collaboration, but most work environments don't support that. It has been proven by multiple research that pure open space ruins productivity, and yet, if you speak up and say you need silence, you’ll be seen as “difficult” or unsociable. 

I left the corporate world mainly because I was made to work in an environment that didn’t work for me, and I was quite a highly-paid specialist. Now I know now that there was nothing wrong with me and I was not "picky" or "difficult" - I just belong to 20% of humans who are highly sensitive – perceiving the world much stronger, brighter and noisier than the rest, and there’s nothing wrong with me (high sensitivity is not a medical condition, but a different gene, like blue or brown eyes). But why is there public shaming around sticking to your natural rhythms?

Another personal “favourite” of mine are fitness classes, where instructors switch on the music so loud, as if we were in a rock concert. I get it that they want to encourage participants, but why put that on a level that makes ears hurt? And most importantly, why is it that people in these classes are embarrassed to ask to put the volume down (it turns out, many feel uncomfortable with it, but don’t say anything unless I ask)? Gyms lost me as a client, because when I go there, I don’t have a choice not only of a music, but also of the volume I need to listen it to.

A right for everyone

Today we are constantly challenged to perform our best, while living in the environment that absolutely doesn't support, or rather, undermines that peak performance. Today I have the luxury to manage my own noise and stimulation level, because I am self-employed, but many people don’t. In fact, there are whole countries where this stimulation is excessive – China being one of them.

Silence and the ability to choose the level of stimulation a person wants/can handle should be the natural right of everyone, and not just the privilege of rich people. All it takes is a recognition that we might be different, and creating an environment that supports that shouldn't be that difficult. Technology is here to support, too– silent disco is a great example of what’s possible, when this recognition happens. Or perhaps fitness instructors could use a decibel measuring app to test the volume.

Do you find excessive noise or sound a problem?

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Tuesday Tips: Save Your Mornings!

22/12/2015

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What are your mornings like? Are you swamped with tonnes of unread emails, trying to follow-up on multiple requests, just to find out that by lunchtime they have only multiplied? Busy, but not doing much?
Morning is the only time when your nervous system is still not overloaded and you aren’t yet influenced by other people’s problems or emotions. So take advantage of it! Watch my Tuesday Tip to find out how!

Also, to help you design your perfect morning, I've create this magic 
checklist - print it out and use every morning before you go to work! It's magic because it allows you to seamlessly achieve what you want by focusing your attention on the right things. To make sure it works, read first these 10 productivity tips - they work especially well for Highly Sensitive People (you can know if you are one of them by taking this quick test).
Did you like this tip? Share it with your friends! I'd also love to learn how it worked for you - leave your comments below!
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Innovation, intuition and sensitivity: how to create innovation culture in your company

11/12/2015

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​So, you want your business to be innovative, your people to burst with ideas, and customers to queue for your new amazing products? And what do you to make this happen? Lead a brainstorming session? Get HR to organize a team-building exercise? Ask potential hires about how innovative they have been in their previous jobs? Or (my favourite) announce an intra-company competition for the “best innovative idea” (to be submitted by Monday in powerpoint)?
 
I’d love to hear from you if any of these really worked. No, really - I’d love to hear at least from one company out of many businesses who widely use these techniques that they work. Because from my experience (and from the experience of my multiple coaching colleagues) – they don’t. And here’s why.
What innovation is about
 
These solutions might generate you a few new ideas, but they don’t create innovation culture. Because innovation isn’t just about generating new ideas. It’s about observing and connecting the dots, seeing things from totally new angles, noticing the subtleties, underlying trends, exposing the unknown (often innovation happens when neither the question nor the answer are given).
 
Innovation is born in the culture of freely expressed ideas, doubts, where people can fail and try again. It’s thrives in an atmosphere where people aren’t afraid to speak up, and know that what they say may make a difference. Innovation is about using unconventional tools and allowing your employees to think different (and be unconventional/abnormal/different, too). It’s not about fitting into the “normal”, usual, conventional – because there is no space for innovation in the normal and usual. Innovation is very much about people who possess all of these qualities – able to freely express the ideas, challenge the status quo, think different, be curious without limitation, maybe look and behave unconventionally and likely not fitting in. They probably need space to sit and think, and they can’t guarantee the result by a certain date and time.
 
Do you like this description of a potential employee? I don’t think so. You probably want somebody a bit more agreeable, understandable, and predictable. Innovation is often born out of diversity, but modern businesses often misunderstand it. They say they want diversity and innovation, but they don’t people who don’t “fit in”. However, if you start listing all those qualities and ideal “innovation carrier” possesses, you may discover that these very people who do not “fit into” your organizations are probably your biggest innovation drivers – if you manage to find the appropriate roles for them and keep them motivated. If you constantly silence, control or ignore them, you will not create innovation culture, no matter how many thousands you pay to your Chief Innovation Officer, or to a consulting company to come up with a new strategy.
​
 
The tale of two tribes
 
Let me give you an example. Imagine we are back a few thousand years ago, and you lead a tribe. You hunt, there’s plenty food around and your tribe is doing just fine. However, there is one chap who comes to you and says: “I think we need to change the place. Magnolia this year has given almost no flowers”. You shrug the shoulders and carry on doing what you were doing, because who cares about the tree, if you primarily are a hunter. And he looks weird anyways, always wondering with his thoughts around, not much use during hunting.
 
He comes around another couple of times, and you eventually tell him “Look, this is a good place and has always been a good one, it’s proven by years and this is how we do things here, so stop annoying me”, so he stops saying anything (and perhaps leaves alone with a few other people – to your relief). However, in a few months you notice that the soil has become dryer, smaller animals are becoming thinner and weaker, there are fewer bigger ones, and long and behold, you are in the middle of a record drought. You ask priests to pray and make sacrifices, but it’s too late - most of your tribe members die because of the lack of food and water.
 
Imagine now that this watchful guy joins another tribe and tells them the same thing, and this tribe decides to listen to him. They ask him what is the correlation between magnolia and changing the place, and he says that he isn’t sure, but when the tree doesn’t blossom, he knows it’s trying to save its water, which means there’s no water left under its roots. They have a discussion inside the tribe and a few people volunteer to look for new places with plenty of water nearby. In a couple of weeks one of them comes back with news on a suitable place with a lot of food around, and all your tribe follows him and moves there. When the drought comes, they are still affected, but most of them survive. Next time when another member of the tribe notices something else, a couple of members of the tribe volunteer to test it, because in the past it has been hugely rewarded.
 
In first case, you failed to see the change coming and paid a price. In the second case, you gave space for observations, verified them by running an experiment (sending people to look for a new place). Based on that, you’ve changed your strategy, helped your tribe survive, and created an innovation culture.
The same is fully applicable to modern businesses.

High sensitivity and innovation

The watchful guy in question is likely to be a highly sensitive person. According to scientists (primarily Dr Elaine Aron who first spoke about the trait 20 years ago), about 20% of human population are highly sensitive. They have a very finely tuned nervous system that is able to recognize the subtleties in the surrounding environment. They process information much deeper than most people, are deeply intuitive and empathetic, and are great at connecting the dots and making sense of seemingly unrelated facts. High sensitivity has a huge evolutionary importance as it helped the survival of the whole human species, as highly sensitive people were the first ones to notice any change in the environment and report to their tribes.
 
However, high sensitivity comes with a price. Although it’s not a disease, highly sensitive people tend to get overwhelmed by too much sensorial stimuli (like noise, strong smells), they can appear shy, can easily get intimidated and afraid to speak up as they react very strongly to criticism. They can get very emotional for no obvious reason or seem too slow to react or learn (in reality, in both cases it means they can’t cope with processing so much information in a short time frame). They are also often feel discouraged to speak up if they cannot logically justify their decision, as intuition often appears before the logic catches up with it – especially if they are sensitive males (the trait is evenly spread between men and women). When constantly told that they are saying non-sense or ignored, they stop trusting themselves, and may shut down, becoming of no use to people around them. They need time and space to think, they find regular office environment especially open-plan offices overwhelming and draining. And yes, they often look, feel and talk different from everyone else.
 
What does sensitivity have to do with innovation? You might have guessed it already – highly sensitive people are those who’ll drive your innovation forward. They get the core of innovation process – observe, compare, synthesize information, connect the dots, pull new solutions from unexpected sources and other areas. For example, Dyson bagless vacuum cleaners were created based on a simple idea of a cyclone in the lumberyard, as using bags was keeping the dust inside the cleaner and preventing it from sucking dust fully.
 
What it means for your organization
 
First of all, try to identify highly sensitive people within your company (every fifth person on earth is an HSP so there should be a few), and make sure that their job description reflects their strengths – ability to synthesize information, work between different departments, with projects and tasks still not defined, and – very importantly – in their own rhythm. There’s a test you can use to check if the person is sensitive.
While doing this, you may discover that a lot of people who aren’t fitting in/have been reported as a problem are actually highly sensitive. They are no rebels by nature, not at all – they simply can’t find a place for themselves within your organization where they can “serve the tribe”, and is this has been happening for a while, they likely got very stressed, mistrusting to themselves and shut down.
 
Second – make sure that they are valued for their insights and nurtured for qualities that come in the same package as sensitivity – empathy, intuition, conscientiousness, ability to process a lot of different pieces of information and notice subtleties, and give valueable insights based on them. Encourage them to trust in themselves. Don’t judge them for being too emotional or overreacting to certain things. Don’t try to control them – they need to do things in their own way, as their brain works differently. You can support them by setting up mentoring programs, explaining to them and everyone else in the company the traits of sensitivity, or getting in a coach who works with highly sensitive people to have a training with managers on how to manage such people.
Create a culture where it’s safe to speak up. This doesn’t mean that ideas should not be discussed or criticized – it only helps when they are – but there should be room to implement those ideas, and also room to have weird ideas. And of course, criticism should never get personal.
 
Third – don’t force your people to use only one part of the brain. Encourage both right-brain and left-brain thinking, as well as using different senses. Design thinking is probably the most used process to create innovation, but it mainly relies on visual perception – but how about other senses?
In the age of big data, we are tempted to back up all our decision with numbers – but unfortunately, data can’t always answer all our questions. Any statistician would tell you that data can’t show you the causality, but only the correlation, and that data is meaningless unless you know, which question to want to answer using it – and often during the innovation process the question is not defined. Made.com, a UK online design furniture retailer, understood this principle really well and created an innovative culture that’s driven by a combination of data analysis and experiments. They use data to pick up a few potentially leading products, and then allocate small teams to launch first products and features based on their intuition. It doesn’t cost much money and effort and allows for more flexibility in case things don’t work out. Having small flexible teams experimenting with things and using both senses and two parts of the brain would work best.
 
If you manage to tap into the potential of highly sensitive people who already work in your organization, and create an environment for them that makes them flourish, you will guarantee your competitive advantage and constant flow of innovation for many years ahead.
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A Highly Sensitive Person at Work: Survival Guide (Part 1)

12/6/2015

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If you are a highly sensitive person, chances are you are quite different from your colleagues. You may find a typical office background noise more distracting than they do. You are likely to get more easily overwhelmed when you’ve got much going on. You may feel more tired after a whole day of staring at computer screen, or need extra time to withdraw somewhere quiet and dark after an intense meeting with many people.

Does it sound like you?

If so - don’t worry, there is nothing wrong with you - this is a typical “side effect” of being highly sensitive. Highly Sensitive People (or HSPs) is a scientific term. It refers to people who are believed to have a genetic ability to notice more subtleties in their environment than most people, and process more sensory input from it, including sounds, lights, temperature etc. They are not sick and don’t need any treatment – it’s just that their nervous system and mind are more “fine-tuned”.

Think about sensitivity as a super-expensive medical knife that can be used for the most delicate surgery thanks to its sophistication and sharpness. However, if the same knife is used to cut bread, chances are it will break down or become dull, and so can no longer be used for a surgery. Same way, highly sensitive people will flourish in the right conditions, or shut down and/or experience stress-related issues if they are continually overwhelmed.

Because highly sensitive people are in the minority (it is believed that only about 20% of all humans belong to HSPs), most companies are not structured to support them. So a highly sensitive person might struggle to have a successful career, especially at an early stage. However, being highly sensitive does not mean you cannot be successful - it's just a question of learning to manage and "sell" your sensitivity. The following five tips will help you with that:

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1.       Understand that people see the world differently
Most problems a highly sensitive person gets at work arise because people don’t get them. As previously said, 80-85% of people are not highly sensitive, and so they genuinely don’t understand why you are bothered about food smell at the desk, loud music or an air conditioner. They might even not notice something that will seem to you like a major thing impacting your well-being and productivity. They even may enjoy this little stimulation, otherwise their nervous system is dormant, and will think you are too demanding when you ask them to turn the music volume down.
Explaining what sensitivity is to a non-sensitive person is a bit like trying to explain to a blind person what colors are. You need to “sell” your sensitivity in the language they can understand. For instance, if you need time to withdraw after a meeting, don't say you are overwhelmed, but mention you are going somewhere to write down the thoughts that came to your mind after the meeting. Or make a joke that you need a cup of tea to warm yourself up after a chilly conversation with a client. People are afraid of what they don't understand, so use humor and keep things really simple.

2.       Incorporate regular breaks throughout the day
If you are a highly sensitive person, you need more rest than most people to recharge your nervous system. I remember this made me really upset in my younger age, as most of my colleagues were able to carry on working. Having built a successful career in several fields, I can assure you now it's not the question of working harder, but working smarter with fewer distractions.

It may sound counterintuitive, but the most efficient thing to do for a highly sensitive person at work is to incorporate breaks every hour or so for a few minutes not to accumulate stress. Because if you don' rest, it will take you much longer to recover after you break down. Taking rest for a highly sensitive person means doing something that involves as little stimulation as possible – so no computer, possibly no chatting to colleagues, but taking a few moment to be somewhere quite, or even better having a little walk outside. 
Ideally, you want to manage your schedule yourself and this should be your priority at work. If you do, do not put several meetings one after another. Switch between meetings and personal activities. As a highly sensitive person, you need time to recharge after one intense experience.
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3.       Know what triggers you
We all are stimulated by different things – some of us are more sensitive to noise, some to smells, some to information overload. You can take this little test to see what stimulates you compared to other highly sensitive people. Notice what triggers your sensitivity, and start consciously managing it. For instance, if your trigger is noise, make sure you have a pair of earplugs when you work (earplugs are way better than earphones for an HSP, as music adds stimulation). In my experience, wax earplugs are the best ones, as they don't let any noise in and are also not irritating to the ear.
If you absolutely cannot avoid the trigger, try minimizing it. For instance, if you know you get tired after the flight and being in the airport among crowds of people, do not set up important meetings for that day. Go on a business trip a night before to have proper rest.
A typical trigger for all HSPs is multitasking. People aren’t generally good at multitasking as has been proven by multiple researchers, but as an HSP you need to be even more careful because any distraction has a bigger impact on you than on your non-sensitive colleagues. You need to organize your work so that you have enough time to dedicate to one particular task and aren’t disturbed in between. This means you may need to book a closed room, ask everyone not to approach you for two hours, and switch off all notifications, all sound signals on your communication devices and put them face down. If you’re waiting for an important call, you should not be working on something that requires your concentration. Similarly, do not open more than one tab when browsing online. Multitasking isn’t good for your brain.

4.       Watch your diet
As a highly sensitive person, you have to be extremely careful about how you eat, as you are more sensitive to sugar than most people (your nervous system literally gets exploded every time you consume sugar). This means that a regular office chocolate/biscuit snacking is out of question. When tired, we are not able to tell what’s good and what’s bad for us, so make sure to have something healthy (and yet yummy) in your desk instead of sugary stuff. 
As an HSP, you are very likely to be more affected by caffeine than most people, so it’s best not to consume it altogether, or if you do, not to drink coffee on the days when you’ve got a lot going.

5.       Talk about your work, not sensitivity
The last thing you want to do after you’ve read this text is to go to your boss or colleagues and tell them you’re highly sensitive, and therefore they should start treating you in a different way. If you did that, you’d be seen either as difficult, or sick. 
What you really want to do is to show them how your work might be impacted if a certain problem causing you extra stimulation (i.e. sitting next to a noisy scanner) will not be resolved.  Focus on the extra value you’ll be able to provide. For instance, if you are negotiating flexible working hours, tell them how you’ll be able to better concentrate and call more customers when it’s less noisy around. 
It obviously helps if you are doing well in your job, and your boss is happy (make sure that they are by giving them the highlights of your key achievements on a weekly basis – it’s not bragging, it’s PR). If this is not the case, you may want to work a little harder (or rather, smarter) before you negotiate anything. The good news is that your bargain power will improve dramatically the more senior you become, so it’s the question of surviving through the early stages of your career.

Bonus track
Most importantly, start being nice to yourself and appreciate your sensitivity. Many highly sensitive people feel they are different and have been punished for that at work or at home, and so try to downgrade their sensitivity to “fit in”. 
Instead of punishing yourself for not being able to cope as most people, think about all the great things you are able to do thanks to being sensitive. You probably know what other people want or expect, are able to build great relationships, forecast trends and make conclusions without having all necessary information thanks to your intuition. Start appreciating your sensitivity, and your colleagues and bosses will do so, too.



See more tips at Part II of the article

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Are You Sensitive? This Can Be Your Biggest Career Advantage

4/6/2015

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George, a 48-year old partner in a reputable consulting firm, has always praised himself for his analytical abilities. He’s great at structuring the most complicated projects, and selling his solution to the most demanding client. It has happened on a several occasions that George saved a big project by understanding what the client really wanted (and not what he was saying he wanted) and suggesting that before anyone else. 

In fact, this ability has allowed George to build some wonderful client relationships and become a partner in his firm, in spite of being generally seen as a reserved and even shy person.

When his colleagues ask him how he does that, George doesn’t know what to answer, since it seems so natural to him just to know what people want. Because he needs to say something, he starts pointing out various analytical tools he uses, but it doesn’t help his colleagues much, because all employees in his firm are aware of these tools – and yet somehow George is always the one who knows more about the client. The company finds him so valuable that it’s happy to overlook his constant need to withdraw and stay at home during busy days, and even recently allowed him to work part-time.

What George is not aware of is that his main strength is not his analytical abilities, but a laser-sharp intuition, which often comes together with difficulties to manage stress.

George is a classic example of a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP (you can take this quick test to check if you are one of them, too). Although he doesn’t know anything about HSPs, he has probably noticed the good and bad sides of this trait all the time. 


What's High Sensitivity?
High sensitivity is not an illness, but rather a genetic modification that occurs in about 20% of humans (and some higher animals), who process information deeper and notice more subtleties in their environment. HSPs have a larger number of mirror neurons – brain cells responsible for fast learning and imitation. These people are highly intuitive and empathetic, and can easily guess what the other feels or needs, often without asking specific questions. This quality makes them great at any job that requires helping other people or client relationship, or trend watching, and HSPs can build a great career if they get into these fields.

Unfortunately, the gift of sensitivity can also become the biggest burden, since Highly Sensitive People get overwhelmed more than other people when things get busy. Their nervous system gets easily overloaded with excessive noise, bright light or other sensory stimuli. When they do, they become quite unsociable or can even fall sick. Because they process more information and do it deeper than most people, they need more time to recover – quite a luxury in the modern corporate environment. 


In his company George has earned a reputation of a hardworking introvert, because in busy days he closes down in his office and doesn’t talk to anyone. The truth is although George likes people, he just needs to take time off during and after busy projects. George’s best way of having the rest is being in the nature, and he spends weekends walking in the English countryside with his phone off.

Being Sensitive in a Corporate World
There are quite a few Georges out there in the corporate world, but it’s difficult to recognize them at first. Statistically, the same proportion of men and women are born with a high sensitivity trait. Yet, because in our society mostly women are allowed to be intuitive and empathetic, a highly sensitive George needs to mask to be just like any other guy. 

A George can choose quite an analytical and brainy profession that require a lot of research and data processing, but also some interaction with other people – like project manager, consultant, or scientist. He is also very drawn to “helping” professions like therapists, coaches, or HR/recruitment, or can make a very talented artist. Many successful leaders are HSPs because they are quite capable to understand other people and inspire them - Abraham Lincoln is believe to be one. But most often, male HSPs who want to have a career in the corporate environment prefer to shut down and hide their “craziness” from others, blaming themselves for not being able to be up to the competition all the time.

It has taken George many years to recognize his intuitive ability, and it only happened because a woman he adored told him he had a great intuition, which he found pleasurable. When he started reading more about it and discovered he was an HSP, a lot of things started falling into place for him. George was able to accept his sensitivity and understand how it has helped him to build a successful career, also sometimes intervening with it and keeping him away from people.


HSP's success factors
When we talk, George admits that had he known about his trait earlier, he might have been as successful, but would have paid a lower price for that. He wouldn’t force himself to work or be in the meetings when he really felt he needed time to rest and think. He might have chosen to structure his day in a different way, so that he has more time for reflection and having more meaningful conversations with fewer people. 


He also understands now why he has always avoided large social gatherings and how somehow he never got the clients from these events, although it’s a common belief that you need to socialize to build your network. The truth is that HSPs hate chit-chat, and are far better in building deep and long-lasting relationships than doing small talks.

If you are a Highly Sensitive Person, it’s not uncommon to worry about being overwhelmed at work or feeling that you react to certain things stronger than most people. Yet, this is not an obstacle for a successful career (and again, not an illness or something that needs to be cured). Simply being aware of this trait and knowing how to structure your life around it and “sell” its advantages to your employer will help. 


Also quite a lot of Highly Sensitive People end up working as independent contractors or building their own business because they can’t adapt to the corporate environment (Steve Jobs is a perfect example of an extremely successful visionary HSP). The good news is that you can learn to manage your trait very efficiently, and make it your competitive advantage. If you want to learn how to have a successful career or business being an HSP – sign up for my newsletters below. In these newsletters, I am discussing suitable career and business strategies for HSPs and how they can become successful while remaining who they really are – intuitive and sensitive human beings.

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How to build resilience to cope better with daily stress

6/4/2015

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Do you constantly struggle with stress at work? Are you getting anxious before an important client meeting? There's an effective way to build resilience to it!

Researchers from the University of North Carolina conducted an experiment to check how people build resilience to negativity. They showed a short movie to a group of people, provoking in them such negative emotions as anger, fear, sadness etc. After the first movie, some of these people were shown another movie provoking more negative feelings, while other part of the group was shown a positive movie. Having measured the heart rate and brain activity of participants, researchers discovered that those who saw two negative movies at once took considerably longer to recover their natural heart rhythm than those who were shown a negative and then a positive movie.


What this means in practice is that if something negative happens to you, you can reduce its impact on you by consciously choosing to do something positive afterwards. Here's how to do it:

Pick one positive emotion. Think of the times when you were unconditionally happy, or in love, or trusting, or full of joy etc. Do you have any physical items, or music, or pictures associated with these periods of your life? Be really selective and only pick the strongest items! 


Collect them and put in one special place – a box, perhaps, or an online folder if you only have digital images and music. If you don’t have any specific items, just find some that associate with this feeling.

Take your time when you are building this portfolio, enjoy the process and watch the feeling that arouses. Now every time you are feeling down, you can open your “joy magic box”, or “love magic box” and go through the items helping your brain and heart recover faster! You can also use it if you are nervous before an important meeting to “charge” yourself positively – I find that it does miracles for me!

Remember that as with every magic object, it needs your constant attention – the more you go through it, the stronger your positive feelings become! Oh, and do not tell anyone about it, otherwise the magic disappears!

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Why becoming #smartphonefree is the single best thing you can do to yourself

19/3/2015

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If you think you’ve got a strong will, try giving up your smartphone.

It took me five months, five very painful months to let it go - and I am a professionally trained coach, so I know a thing or two about working with addicted brain.

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Why would I give it up though in the first place and why is this story worth sharing? I strongly believe that giving up your smartphone is the single best thing you can do to restore your energy, relationships and interest in life without hours of expensive coaching and psychotherapy.

I don’t remember myself being more productive and focused ever since I gave up my android. I started talking to people around, both those I know and I don’t, I am not jigging at the sound of a new incoming email and I am not constantly worried about being left out of touch because my phone is discharged (again).

The irony of this story is that my background is in digital marketing. I am the person who for over than ten years has been selling online goods and services and promoting digital technologies to millions of people on behalf of largest international companies, such as Google. 
Are you a digital addict? Take a test to find out!
Now I’m going to share with you a dirty little secret that you might or might not know. Some of the most influential people in the technology world don’t have smartphones and use the most basic phone models. One of them is Eugene Kaspersky, the founder of Kaspersky lab, the most prominent antivirus software company. I also know a few regional business leaders in telco and tech finance, who for security reasons prefer an old very basic Nokia (this post isn’t sponsored, but Nokia tends to be the leading brand among those). 

There is surely a reason they don’t.

An addicted brain

Fast backward three years ago, when I was getting my first smartphone (because all of my friends had it, and OMG I could get it for free from a network operator!), I suspected that it might have a negative impact on myself, but I thought I would be really careful and not let it suck me in. 

I thought I would only use useful applications (such as a player), and will limit Facebook usage or checking my email. I first got concerned when the productivity app I had installed across my accounts showed me that I was spending between 6-8 hours a day online on my phone. I became a bit more concerned when I suddenly realized that when I was not looking at my phone for more than 15 minutes, I started feeling physically uncomfortable, as if something bad was about to happen. I got truly preoccupied when I realized couldn’t move my right thumb as I could move the left one, and my right hand was feeling tense most of the time. 

I found later that whatever I was experiencing, was confirmed by neuroscienceresearch that says that using smartphone apart from having other negative effects changes your somatosensory cortex. This is a part of your brain that is associated with thumbs, and smartphone users tend to have this area shaped differently compared to the users of regular phones. Scientists think that these changes happen with more usage of a smartphone and might have negative consequences, including chronic pain and movement problems. There's also extensive research into how smartphones negatively impact our relationship.

I must admit that I tried to consciously limit my phone usage, installing different blocking apps, switching on and off the sync function, switching the device altogether for periods of time - nothing really worked for more than a few hours. I felt my calmest when on holidays I would get to a place with no internet connectivity and so wasn't able to use my phone. Every time I went back to London, I promised myself I will keep this feeling of clarity and focus in my head without my phone. I never managed to do that for more than a few days, because the old habit kicked back in.

The last straw was reading a report about how your smartphone collects data about you on a daily basis. When I saw my personal archive in one place online, it was a call to action. 

Hello, I am Anastasia, I am a smartphone addict and I spend my days feeding my personal info for free to whoever wants to see it.

The plan

At long last, I made a plan how to outsmart myself.

I went to a shop and purchased the most basic phone. It cost me something around 20 pounds, and they would give me the same amount of phone calls credit on top, so I basically got it free of charge. The phone was not sexy, it could only call and send text messages and, in fact, it was extremely uncomfortable to type them in. This was exactly what I was looking for.

I got it as a second line and started using it in parallel. It didn’t quite work out initially, because the smartphone was so much more comfortable to use, but I persisted and started leaving the smartphone at home once in a while, or wait until it gets fully discharged and not charge it for some time, using the other phone instead.

This stage took me about three months.

Then I forced myself into the next stage - I decided to get rid of it altogether. I tried storing it in my room - it didn’t work, I kept switching it on even when I was at home. It felt so safe having it in my hand (I swear, this was precisely the emotion I was experiencing).

I couldn’t make the final step until I had a chance to give it away. Because my mother wanted a navigator, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to get her one, and so my phone is now sitting in her car, and doesn’t use it in any other way rather than getting directions (she finds it way too complicated for anything else).

This was in fact the most painful stage, because I had no idea how I will be finding my way, listening to music, staying in touch - I thought I would be completely lost and dependent! However, I still remember the feeling of huge relief and energy uplift the moment I cleaned out all my data on the phone and gave it to my mom. 

It turned out, I would experience far fewer problems that I anticipated. I suddenly discovered that London had city maps every 100 meters, that people in bus stops very willingly would tell me when the next bus is coming, and I wasn’t worried about losing touch with any of my friends because my new phone’s battery lasts for 14 (fourteen!) days without a recharge. I am also not irritating people anymore by putting my phone on the dinner table (although I am sometimes irritated myself because I have nothing to do while they are staring in their screens!)

In summary, what helped me get rid of this habit and make more space in my life and head:

  1. Clearly seeing the impact that the phone was having on my nervous system and productivity

  2. Understanding who really benefited from me using it

  3. Getting some authoritative figures as inspiration and example that this is possible (this really made a big difference)

  4. Making gradual change and understanding that limitations don’t work

  5. Getting the device out of the way altogether with a good cause

My next challenge is to limit my overall online activity, and I will be creating a log of my progress and what I feel works and what doesn’t.

PS Is your finger glued to your iPhone and you live in your mailbox? It might be the time to declutter. I am running a 6-weeks digital detox course as part of Consciously Digital™, my second coaching business. It gives you practical tools to manage your online life if you want to be more productive and less stressed, and have more time for things that matter. The next 6-weeks course is starting shortly, so check it out!

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Want to lose weight? Stop multitasking!

27/2/2015

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I am a business coach, not a health practitioner. However, I notice a strong correlation between how my clients treat their bodies, their state of mind and their business and career success. One thing that always strikes me is that people who try to do a lot of things simultaneously tend to be the least resilient to stress, suffer from low levels of energy and put more effort to achieve less. This is especially true for avid users of new technologies.

What science tells us

I like to base my work on solid scientific evidence and not just personal experience, so want to share with you some brilliant pieces of research about the negative impact of multitasking I’ve discovered. Scientists became concerned about media multitasking after a few fatal incidents with doctors who multitasked while treating their patients and made serious mistakes causing harm to their patients.

A research from Stanford University suggests that people constantly exposed to electronic information flow suffer from worsened memory and a lack of attention. They also have hard time switching from one job to another, even though they claim they are great at multitasking. Harvard scientists confirm that multitaskers are more likely to make mistakes, ignore important information or keep it in their working memory. As a result, their problem solving abilities and creativity can be diminished.

Yeah, but what can go wrong if I check my smartphone for a second? Everyone does that – and they are no dumb zombies!

True, nothing happens if you do it once in a while (unless you are a doctor working with a patient or in a similar responsible position). Problems arise when you keep doing this over and over again. Thing is, when you get distracted, your brain needs time to go back to what it was doing. The more often you distract it, the more time it needs to recover, and the worse your working memory gets. As a result, your mind doesn’t work anymore as good as it could be and you process relevant information at a slower pace.

Ok, but how does it impact my weight?

When you regularly multitask, you basically undermine your ability to filter information and pick what’s relevant for you right now. As a multitasker, you have harder time identifying when and what you need to eat, and whether you need to change your body posture or go do some exercise. If you have lunch in front of your computer, chances are you eat waaaaay more then you need (and chew worse, too!). If you want to control your craving, stick to your diet and keep exercising regularly, you need to have a well-organized and focused mind that is your ally and tells you what’s worthy of your attention.

I keep repeating it over and over again to all of my clients – you are a whole person, and if you want to be successful, you cannot separate your body from your mind or your actions. The way you behave impacts how you eat, the way you eat impacts the way you think, the way you think impacts how you behave! It’s all looped! (By the way, a perfect phrase to tweet, isn’t it? ;))

How to stop multitasking

So, how can one stop multitasking and make sure they are productive and healthy?

The authors of Organize your mind, organize your life suggest a whole series of steps, but the key one is to work in shifts. Concentrate only on one thing at a time, whether it is eating your lunch or reading your emails, and be fully immersed into what you do. When you switch to the next task, you need to abandon any thought about the previous task, until you get back to it, if you need to. What tends to happen is that we still process something that’s not related to what we are doing right now (i.e. in a meeting I keep on thinking of whether I’ve parked my car in a right place), therefore not making any of the two well! To be present, either go outside and re-park your car, or forget about it altogether.

Those who are part of a strong office culture might find it challenging to stop multitasking altogether, as in spite of strong evidence against multitasking many companies still expect their employees to do so, for example keep their email boxes opened all the time. It is also challenging not to multitask in an open office environment, where distractions are in abundance.

You don’t need though to openly fight against your employer or blame them for making you unproductive – instead of that, consider things you can control in your work vs things you cannot. If you are in control of organizing your communication most of the time, tell your boss and colleagues that you want to run a little experiment, and so will check your email at specific times. Make people feel curious and fun about your experiment, rather than guilty. If you are the boss, you can set up a specific hour when people can come and ask you questions, and agree that they don’t do it at other times (and if they do, they have to pay a symbolic fine that is used for the Friday pub crawl). Your whole day might not become instantly productive, but at least you can make the first steps to become less stressed and more efficient! And fit on top of that, too!


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    Who is Anastasia?

    Chief inspirator, start-up mentor, professional Co-Active life coach and career coach, systems worker and passionate tango dancer. Get to know me! 

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