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Sensitive and Successful. Episode 1: A Sensitive Man. Adam Woodhall: "How we disempower ourselves"

20/5/2017

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​Way too many highly sensitive people I’ve met struggle to accept their sensitivity and blame it for problems in their careers and relationships. The world around them is too overwhelming, they say, and the corporate world is just too harsh for an HSP, let alone running your own business. This victim mentality certainly doesn’t help improve the situation, as doesn’t denying your sensitivity and trying to be like everyone else.

So having seen so many disempowered people I became curious – are there any highly sensitive people out there who actually made it in their career or business (and maybe not even in spite of, but thanks to their sensitivity)? What is it like to be them? It turns out, there were quite a few among people I knew. This is how “Highly Sensitive and Successful” project was born. It was created with an idea to empower those sensitive people, who feel that sensitivity is an obstacle to their life, financial freedom and ability to make changes in the world.

I talk to HSPs from different backgrounds – British, French, Russian, Kazakh, Greek, who work in different fields – in the corporate world, non-profits, arts, or run their own business. They are lawyers, bankers, coaches, writers, designers, actors, marketers, volunteers, scientists, economists, mums and dads. I ask them the same questions – what is their experience of being a highly sensitive person? How do they turn sensitivity to their advantage?

I define “success” not in terms of money or fame. In fact, most highly sensitive people I talk to belong to middle class. Success for me is that they built their lives and finances on their own terms, honouring and using their sensitivity. I hope these conversations will be an inspiration for those of you who are still looking for your ways.

I decided to make the first interview from "Highly Sensitive and Successful" series with a sensitive man. A rare species, according to some social standards (although sensitivity is even distributed between men and women). What’s even rarer, he is perfectly fine with his sensitivity, while clearly exhibiting some traits of an “alpha-male” behaviour. We talk about sensitivity and masculinity, putting labels on yourself and others, and disempowering stories we tell ourselves that we can turn into empowering ones.

Meet Adam Woodhall, a sustainability consultant and public speaker, who is also well known in London alternative dancing scene. 
How do you disempower yourself? And what could you do to stop doing that and start self-empowerment? Post comments under this video!

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How much do coaches make?

8/1/2016

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Coaching might be an incredibly fulfilling job, but not necessarily the most rewarding one. A staggering 84% of coaches make less than £2000/$3000 per month, and 40% of them earn less than £500/$750, according to Anastasia’s survey conducted in early January 2016*. Only 8.6% coaches take home more than £3000/$4500 per month from coaching.

Interestingly, £2000/$3000 in monthly earnings seems to be the most difficult barrier to overcome for coaches after the initial barrier of £500/$750.

​Notably, most of the respondents (87%) came from the developed English-speaking markets, so these rather disappointing earnings figures do not reflect the level of economic development, but rather the competitiveness of the coaching market, as well as the fact that aspiring coaches might be spending their precious time on things that are less important, than they think.
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Having only a few clients is one of the reasons coaches earn so little – 44% of coaches serve 5 or fewer clients, and nearly 4/5 – less than 10. At the same time, coaches who serve more than 10 clients start earning considerably more. It feels like some of us find ways to serve most clients.

Another reason for low earnings might be that coaches spend too much time trying to formulate a niche or getting locked in one (21% claim they haven’t defined a niche, but are trying to do so, and 15% that they only have one niche), whereas the highest earners claim they either have no niche at all and can’t bother to define one, or that they cover several niches. Both of these approaches seem to work.
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(The lack of) experience seems to be relevant only for the first two years of your coaching practice. Two years seems to be the time when we are figuring out what and how to do. The two top earners have 8-10 years of experience, but two mid-range ones only have 2-4 years, and one claims to have 5-7 years of experience. So if you have been in the profession for more than 2 years, in theory there’s nothing limiting you – apart from yourself. 
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The moral is, if you’ve been in coaching for less than 2 years, don’t waste your time on defining your coaching niche or coming up with complicated marketing strategies – try to get as many clients as you can, and things will work out. Also, don’t leave your full-time job just yet (or make sure you’ve got someone to support you through the first 2 years).
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If you’ve been playing with coaching for 2 or more years, and are still earning less than £2000/$3000 per month (and come from a major English-speaking country), maybe it’s time to face the truth that things aren’t going to change unless you make an effort, and you might as well continue to earn the same for the next ten years. Get over this psychological barrier of £2000/$3000 per month – somehow only a few people are capable of doing that, and once they’re on the other side, there isn’t much competition there. So do everything to cross this line – and maybe you’ll make it to my next year’s report as a top-5 earner.

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*About the survey
This anonymous survey was conducted by Anastasia from between the 4th-8th January 2016. It was published in 5 online professional coaching groups and communities (two on Linkedin, two on Facebook and a forum of CTI graduates) and collected a total of 58 answers. Participants from USA, the UK and Canada gave 87% of responses. Other respondents came from Australia, Germany, India, Israel, Peru, South Africa and the United Arab Emirates. Because this study was conducted online only and participants were self-selected, one should not assume that this survey is fully representative of the situation with the coaching industry as a whole. However, we believe that the trends outlined in this research are representative enough to generate a discussion of skills coaches need to get to grow their businesses.
USD/GBP exchange rates are not entirely representative, as USD rate has been rounded to the nearest hundred.

For press enquiries, please use the contact form. Any republishing only with the link to www.anastasia.tips website, please.

Do you want to make a breakthrough in your coaching practice?

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Anastasia worked for 10+ years in senior positions in digital marketing before founding her  two coaching businesses. One works with highly sensitive people and the other is a digital detox business.
I work with highly sensitive people, many of whom choose to be in helping professions. In spring 2016, I will be running Career Booster workshop for highly sensitive people, teaching them to use their sensitivity and intuition to build their successful business or career.

Whereas many of you have invested a lot of time in learning skills how to be a great coach, and thanks to your sensitivity you are very capable of delivering great results for the client, you might be lacking business skills, or feeling overwhelmed at the idea of having to expose yourself online, market to the unknown people etc.

However, digital marketing doesn't have to be inauthentic or overwhelming. ​If you want to have a breakthrough in your business based on who you are, you are looking for authentic ways to express yourself online and get new clients, the spring edition of Career Booster is for you. Read more, or ask me any questions!


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What It Takes to Become an Entrepreneur

14/11/2015

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Have you always wanted to do something meaningful? Are you longing to lead a life that will really make you feel truly fulfilled? Want to build your business, or make a real change in the world? Do you know deep inside what you really wish for, and yet sense that something is holding you back? Here are seven lessons I’ve learned from the first year of being a solo entrepreneur.
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1.There will never be the perfect moment for it
You will never be earning enough money to give you complete financial security. You will never be qualified or knowledgeable enough to start your own thing or make that next step. You will never have just the right level of support. Even if you pay thousands of pounds to your coach, counsellor, business advisor etc, they won’t do the job for you – you will still have to take the risk and do YOUR part of the work. Your 100%. There’ll be no one to blame apart from yourself if you fail. But tomorrow will never be better than today, unless you start doing something today. One day pain of not changing will become bigger than the pain of changing, and you will have to make this step.

2.You will sabotage yourself every day, and will still make progress
Most of us know exactly what kind of life they’d love to live, but there are always voices that are holding us back. Once you step on the path of change, these voices get loud. Really loud. Every day you’ll be asking yourself whether you’re doing the right thing, and who are you to do what you do. After every mistake you’ll make (and be sure you’ll make every possible mistake you can make) they’ll be telling you that you’re a failure and shouldn’t have ever tried. You may discover that you’re not returning important calls and ignoring life-changing messages. You may discover you’re spending hours sitting pointlessly online. It’s part of the game, and don’t believe anyone who says they never had self-doubt or never sabotaged themselves. Learn to deal with it (or get a coach to help you overcome it, it’s all manageable).

3.You will run out of money much faster than you think
Yes, it will happen, and likely not only once. You will constantly need to be thinking about ways to refill your wallet, and it will make you very distracted from focusing on your business. You will have to learn to juggle your insecurity and your business growth. That’s the only way.

4.You won’t figure out how things work. It will stop bothering you though.
You will try doing a thousand things, and will fail a thousand times, and all of a sudden some of these things will work (and most will never work). You probably will never understand why, but with experience you will stop trying to understand it and focus on what works. Remember the old game of hot and cold, when an object was hidden and if you were getting close to it, your playmate said “hot”? You’ll learn to get into your “hot” spot without rationalizing why it’s hot.

5.You’ll be constantly torn between feeling very happy and extremely unsatisfied
Every night will consist of thinking of everything you could and should have done today for your business, and beating up yourself for the fact that you didn’t. And yet, you’ll be very happy for everything you’ve managed to do, if you did at least something, and for the lifestyle you’ll be leading. At this stage, it’s very important to let go of the notion that you can do everything, and remind yourself about your victories, not just failures.

6.Relationships and social life will lose its appeal
You will find yourself more willing to spend the evening on the sofa with your laptop, rather than going out or meeting new people (or developing existing relationships). Making a first sale will make you more excited than a best date. You will become an obsessed self-centered maniac who only is interested in talking to people as long as they listen to him talking about his new product. Friends on Facebook will start unfriending you because you will constantly be trying to sell something to them without even realizing that.
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7.Making the future non-negotiable is the best thing you can do to support yourself
There’s a reason so many entrepreneurs talk about Vision (and pay a lot of money to coaches and consultants to get one). When you are immersed in your daily routine, it’s very easy to forget about the big Why – Why you are doing all that, and what would it be like to live your dream. This is what gives you energy.
Getting in touch with my imaginary future and sticking to this vision as something that’s non-negotiable was by far the biggest thing that helped me stay on track and build resilience. Clients often want to talk about practical steps they can’t figure out, but the moment they get connected to their Vision, they get all the steps in front of them automatically. Sticking to the vision IS the most difficult part of being an entrepreneur, figuring out the ways to get there is the easiest one.

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You can be paid for what you love… but nobody is obliged to pay you.

30/6/2014

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DWYL, or Do What you Love, has become the mantra of our generation. Young and not-so young office workers inspired by Steve Jobs and alikes are prepared to throw away their predictable corporate careers to get into something ‘life-changing’.

In most cases they don’t know what exactly they want to change and even what they love, but are convinced they are born to do something bigger. That’s at least what they are told by the media and social networks. The Career Man has been thrown off from its pedestal and replaced by The Loving Entrepreneur.

The DWYL boom has made the lives of all those still working (or choosing to work) in the corporate sector miserable. You don’t want to create the new Facebook? Loser. You are pretty happy with knowing what you’ll be earning 3 years from now? Triple loser. You’ve turned 30 and haven’t created yet a multi-billion business, or at least a blog visited by a few hundred thousand readers a day? Your life is wasted.

There’s a clear reason why this is happening. Corporates failed at large to recognize and utilize multiple aspects of one’s personality. An ideal employee is a ‘function’, not a living human being. In the corporate viewpoint, he should only have a couple of qualities that help him do his routine job. Everything else is a distraction and is strongly discouraged by most corporate cultures, consciously or subconsciously.

People, however, don’t like to be put into boxes and seen as machines, even if they can act as such. They might not understand what is happening, but when they are underutilized and not encouraged to be their bigger selves, when they are not appreciated for who they are as humans, they get disengaged. They start intuitively looking for something that will make them feel whole and happy. And in this moment they get fed the tale of The Loving Entrepreneur.

I’m almost risking to become a social pariah to say that, but not everyone is fit to become an entrepreneur. It may sound weird to say that given that most of the work I do is with entrepreneurs and people who want to change their careers to something more fulfilling. But this is exactly the reason I’m saying this. Not everyone can be a Steve Jobs. And not everyone needs to, by the way.

A recent article in The Guardian mentions that ‘doing what you love’ essentially is a privilege for the rich. In my opinion, it’s not simply about your income, but about managing your expectations and, mostly importantly, your ego.

Society is putting the pressure on us not only to do what you we love (which is nothing wrong in itself), but also get instantly successful with it, sell our product to the millions and be featured at least in Forbes, if not Techcrunch. And this is what makes the whole thing very dangerous. Entrepreneurship is not about success. It’s about trying and making mistakes, failing and starting again. If you are getting into it with an idea that you must succeed, you are putting yourself under an enormous pressure. Instead of being flexible and curious, you become rigid and attached to the success. Guess what: success never comes when you are demanding for it.

I worked with many clients who were very optimistic when they first got into doing what they loved, and a few months later came to me totally burned out. They litigated with their friends, because they didn’t find the support they were looking for. They lost some of their social connections because they kept spamming them on Facebook and Twitter telling everyone about their new venture. The clients were not signing up, or they were stupid. They were constantly frustrated because the world was not making everything ready for them. They stopped believing in themselves and in doing what they loved. This was the power of false expectations.

The truth is, nobody owes you anything. Entrepreneurship is about other people, and not yourself. It’s about making other people happy and fulfilled, not yourself. Doing what you love is YOUR own reward, and it might or might not be rewarded by other people. It will, if they share your passion, but they don’t have to. You do.

The Loving Entrepreneur doesn’t love himself. He loves other people.
Yes, you should follow your heart. But you should also use your head, and many other parts of your body.


The first step to doing something you really love and perhaps being successful in it is to ask yourself – apart from myself, who else can I make happy by doing what I love?

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    Who is Anastasia?

    Chief inspirator, start-up mentor, professional Co-Active life coach and career coach, systems worker and passionate tango dancer. Get to know me! 

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