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Sensitive and Successful: Episode 7. Do you need an information diet?

4/10/2017

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Do you often feel overwhelmed by too much information? Do you find it hard to sleep after watching TV or browsing through social media, and yet often catch yourself doing this?
In this episode of Highly Sensitive and Successful podcast coach Anastasia shares insights from her new book, Homo Distractus: Fight for your choices and identity in the digital age and discusses why it's very important for highly sensitive people to limit and control their information and tech consumption, and how they can do that without losing touch with their social circle.
And how do you take care of your brain online? Post your tips in the comments!
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Sensitive and Successful: Episode 6. The importance of prioritizing and walking.

4/10/2017

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The world can be overwhelming for highly sensitive people sometimes, especially when deadlines are piling up and a working environment is highly competitive. However, even in such a highly stressful industry as law it’s possible for a highly sensitive person to become successful on their own terms. In the new episode of Sensitive and Successful coach Anastasia talks to London lawyer Tania Golubko on the importance of prioritizing, controlling one’s environment and walking for a career success.
More episodes of Sensitive and Successful available on iTunes.

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Sensitive and Successful: Episode 5. What's the story you are telling yourself?

14/8/2017

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I absolutely love today’s new episode of sensitive and successful! My today’s guest Kazakh-British Lola Askarova has built a highly successful marketing career in multinational companies, while developing her “side hustle” as a writer.
Lola, my former colleague, has always been seen as a peacemaker, and her presence and voice would calm the most demanding clients. In this new episode of Sensitive and Successful, she shares, how her sensitivity helps her deal with the most difficult people, talks about the importance of finding the right organizational culture for a highly sensitive person to thrive at work, the strength of sensitive people as managers and leaders, and the importance of understanding and reframing the story you tell yourself about yourself. And I absolutely love the sound of her voice :)
What story do you tell yourself about yourself and your sensitivity? Reply in comments to this post!
Now this podcast is also available on iTunes.
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Highly Sensitive and Successful: Episode 3. A business with the light heart - a highly sensitive entrepreneur

20/6/2017

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​In the new episode of Highly Sensitive and Successful, I talk to Iren Merdinyan, founder of organic chocolate brand Raw Bon Bon, on how a business run by a highly sensitive person is different from normal business, why intuition matters and the importance of organic relationships, not just products.
Here are some inspirational quotes from the interview:

"It was a conscious choice not to keep it as a mass production, keep it artisan, feminine, intimate"
“Every little thing is making an effort. This little tomato, this sunshine, there was water, nature nurturing it, and there was so much effort and love put into it, and you have to respect this”.
​"We need to run business with the light heart".

How important for you are ethical values and "organic relationships" in business? What do you do in order to maintain them? Please, post your answer in the comments below this video!

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Sensitive and Successful. Episode 1: A Sensitive Man. Adam Woodhall: "How we disempower ourselves"

20/5/2017

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​Way too many highly sensitive people I’ve met struggle to accept their sensitivity and blame it for problems in their careers and relationships. The world around them is too overwhelming, they say, and the corporate world is just too harsh for an HSP, let alone running your own business. This victim mentality certainly doesn’t help improve the situation, as doesn’t denying your sensitivity and trying to be like everyone else.

So having seen so many disempowered people I became curious – are there any highly sensitive people out there who actually made it in their career or business (and maybe not even in spite of, but thanks to their sensitivity)? What is it like to be them? It turns out, there were quite a few among people I knew. This is how “Highly Sensitive and Successful” project was born. It was created with an idea to empower those sensitive people, who feel that sensitivity is an obstacle to their life, financial freedom and ability to make changes in the world.

I talk to HSPs from different backgrounds – British, French, Russian, Kazakh, Greek, who work in different fields – in the corporate world, non-profits, arts, or run their own business. They are lawyers, bankers, coaches, writers, designers, actors, marketers, volunteers, scientists, economists, mums and dads. I ask them the same questions – what is their experience of being a highly sensitive person? How do they turn sensitivity to their advantage?

I define “success” not in terms of money or fame. In fact, most highly sensitive people I talk to belong to middle class. Success for me is that they built their lives and finances on their own terms, honouring and using their sensitivity. I hope these conversations will be an inspiration for those of you who are still looking for your ways.

I decided to make the first interview from "Highly Sensitive and Successful" series with a sensitive man. A rare species, according to some social standards (although sensitivity is even distributed between men and women). What’s even rarer, he is perfectly fine with his sensitivity, while clearly exhibiting some traits of an “alpha-male” behaviour. We talk about sensitivity and masculinity, putting labels on yourself and others, and disempowering stories we tell ourselves that we can turn into empowering ones.

Meet Adam Woodhall, a sustainability consultant and public speaker, who is also well known in London alternative dancing scene. 
How do you disempower yourself? And what could you do to stop doing that and start self-empowerment? Post comments under this video!

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How to find a new solution to an old problem?

2/8/2016

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You might have noticed that, when changing the scenery, you often gain a new vision of an old problem, and feel more inspired to take action. Does it sound true? Places do determine how we feel (and if you are a highly sensitive person you will be affected stronger by your location than a regular person).
However, if you can’t escape somewhere just now and feel stuck with your thoughts, you can still use this video to find a new solution to an old problem just by changing the perspective inside your head.
Let’s do this simple 10-minute coaching exercise together – I’ll guide you through all the steps.

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How to have more time for things that matter to you? (a simple coaching tool)

6/6/2016

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How easy is it for you to stay focused throughout the day? Especially if you are a highly sensitive person, chances are you are really easily distracted and get to solve other people's problems first. So it never gets down to doing what is truly important for you. You might have dreams and desires, but life somehow takes over, and you put them on the shelf. 
Sounds familiar?
In this 4-minute video I will teach you a simple coaching technique to set up your priorities once and forever, and put yourself first. Once you've watched, let me know how you've liked it by leaving comments below!
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Should you allow your work to speak for itself?

5/4/2016

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The short answer is, no.

I often get clients who think that bragging is below their standards, and their great professionalism should speak for itself. They come to me after they didn’t get a promotion or realize they are severely underpaid, often resentful and perplexed about why others don’t appreciate their work. This happens to both genders, but women in particular and all highly sensitive people are prone to this problem.


It’s no fault of theirs, of course, as we’re told early on that we should do a good job, and people will notice. Unfortunately, this is only part of the truth. We are taught how to be professional, but not how to build relationships, which defines at least 50% of your career or business success. In fact, the lack of self-promotion is called one of the top career blockers. 

People around you live in their own bubbles, have their own agendas, and are overwhelmed most of the time (just think how many emails one gets per day!) Of course, they will only notice what’s on the surface – and it’s your, and not their job to build the bridge! When you say that your work should speak for itself, what you are essentially saying is “I don’t want to deal with relationships”. Funny enough, this is the opposite of what you want for yourself – arrogance instead of respect.

Nobody likes a bragger. What people like to know though is what’s in there for them. The massive difference between bragging and explaining people how what you do helps them/the company is that the first one creates resentment, and the second one builds relationships. 

This week, I invite you to think about how your work is helping people around you, and find an opportunity to talk about it in their own language. I’m looking forward to hearing how this one goes (and if you want to learn about more authentic self-promotion strategies, I'll be happy to chat about individual coaching)!

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Money talk for people who don’t like money

9/2/2016

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For some people money isn’t just the main thing. They value freedom, connection, knowledge, creativity or an opportunity to make an impact. So when they have to ask money for their work (because we all need at some point, whether we like it or not), they feel deeply uncomfortable, embarrassing or below their self-esteem to have this talk. Whether it’s quoting their fees to a prospective client or asking for a pay rise, they struggle to claim their worth
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This is especially true for highly sensitive people – about 20% of human population who have a very finely tuned nervous system and perceive the world more intensely and in more details, much louder/brighte then the rest. They are often highly empathetic and influenced by other people’s emotions. They notice details and subtleties, are conscientious, care about others’ feelings and react stronger to criticism. They also think deeper, and as a result, might also take longer to take a decision.

A key "feature" of a highly sensitive person is that they are never motivated by money – they are interested in having an impact, doing meaningful things. And they often think they aren’t qualified or ready enough, too. Because of this, they often aren’t claiming their worth and go underpaid-borderline struggling.

If you are a highly sensitive person who’s finding it difficult to express their worth in monetary terms, these two quick exercises will help you re-frame your attitude to money.


​1. Asking for money is not about being selfish. 
Make a list of all things you’d be able to do if you had more money. Would you go travelling, help your parents, have more energy to do amazing projects that make others happy? Would you spend less energy on worrying about tomorrow, and so will be able to be more present with people around you? I bet most of things on your list have to do with other people. At the end of the day, we only become happy when we can share something with others. Isn’t asking for money worth it in this light?
So next time you have the "money talk", think about all these great things you'd be able to accomplish and better serve others as a result - it will help you immensely overcome your discomfort.


2. Receiving money means you equally recognize your and other people’s contribution.
Think about the impact that you have on other people thanks to your work. List all that has changed in their lives thanks to you.
Do you organize festivals? How many people have experienced joy thanks to your work, that will keep them warm for years ahead? Do you write amazing books that change people’s lives? Are you a fitness coach who can help anyone get back in touch with the joy of managing their body? Or is your work saving somebody's time, so that they accomplish something truly meaningful to them?
If you are not asking enough money for the value you provide, what you are literally telling these people is: “My work really doesn’t have any value for you, and so does your experience”. People are happy to pay for what truly makes a difference in their lives – by asking for money you help them realize that you have made a difference, or are about to.

Now, next time you have the “money” talk, remember: don’t talk about yourself, talk about what you can do for them when getting paid all this money. Let me know how it goes - post your comments below!

PS Next week, 15-22 February, I am running a free online week-long Money Marathon for people who want to learn to express their self-worth. We'll be exploring your perception of money and removing the blockages around it. Join us here!
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What doing a handstand has to do with a successful career

6/2/2016

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Do you dream big, but somehow end up leading the same unfulfilling/mildly fulfilling lifestyle for years?Highly Sensitive People are especially prone to overthinking and postponing their lives until they're ready. Today’s Tuesday Tip is about how to break through whatever you’ve been putting off in your life.

The key thing that you need to understand is that the breakthrough process is not linear. Sometimes if you are stuck in your career or finance, you need to work on entirely different matter
. For instance, Tony Robbins makes his clients do the fire walk. I am not that radical, but have a similar story to share with you. Click below to learn it!
Did you like this video? Share it with your friends and leave the comments below!

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A right for silence

26/1/2016

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Do you notice how much unnecessary noise you're exposed to on a daily basis?

I was brought up in one of the world’s craziest cities, Moscow, and live in London, another quite intense megalopolis. I enjoy things happening around me, but also need my moments of silence to restore myself, think deeply and be creative. But nowadays, finding silence has become an incredible luxury only available to the most well-off individuals, unless you choose to move out of the city and not do any corporate job.

Have you ever wondered why the most prestigious areas in the city are usually the quietest? Why executive business lounges in the airports have no bright screens/ads/loud music/shouting announcement (very different from normal waiting areas)? Why in the top fashion boutiques and high-end restaurants they play a very low-volume pleasing music, if any? Why is silence valued so high?


Having no excessive stimulation allows our brain to process information we’ve got already, think deeper, and as a result, be creative. Creativity and conscious decision-making requires space in your head. You can’t be creative if you are constantly distracted, because our brains aren’t wired to multitask. You also need silence to better understand yourself, otherwise you stop making conscious choices. Yet, unless you have lots of money, you are condemned to daily distractions, which are presented as something completely normal, and those who say it’s not, get publicly (or silently) shamed.

Forced to listen
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I spent my worst years working in the open space offices – with hundreds of people talking, walking around, listening to music etc., not to mention multiple computer screens that kept causing me severe headaches. How can you possibly expect someone working in such atmosphere to be able to concentrate and come up with amazing work. Our natural rhythms vary between solitude and collaboration, but most work environments don't support that. It has been proven by multiple research that pure open space ruins productivity, and yet, if you speak up and say you need silence, you’ll be seen as “difficult” or unsociable. 

I left the corporate world mainly because I was made to work in an environment that didn’t work for me, and I was quite a highly-paid specialist. Now I know now that there was nothing wrong with me and I was not "picky" or "difficult" - I just belong to 20% of humans who are highly sensitive – perceiving the world much stronger, brighter and noisier than the rest, and there’s nothing wrong with me (high sensitivity is not a medical condition, but a different gene, like blue or brown eyes). But why is there public shaming around sticking to your natural rhythms?

Another personal “favourite” of mine are fitness classes, where instructors switch on the music so loud, as if we were in a rock concert. I get it that they want to encourage participants, but why put that on a level that makes ears hurt? And most importantly, why is it that people in these classes are embarrassed to ask to put the volume down (it turns out, many feel uncomfortable with it, but don’t say anything unless I ask)? Gyms lost me as a client, because when I go there, I don’t have a choice not only of a music, but also of the volume I need to listen it to.

A right for everyone

Today we are constantly challenged to perform our best, while living in the environment that absolutely doesn't support, or rather, undermines that peak performance. Today I have the luxury to manage my own noise and stimulation level, because I am self-employed, but many people don’t. In fact, there are whole countries where this stimulation is excessive – China being one of them.

Silence and the ability to choose the level of stimulation a person wants/can handle should be the natural right of everyone, and not just the privilege of rich people. All it takes is a recognition that we might be different, and creating an environment that supports that shouldn't be that difficult. Technology is here to support, too– silent disco is a great example of what’s possible, when this recognition happens. Or perhaps fitness instructors could use a decibel measuring app to test the volume.

Do you find excessive noise or sound a problem?

You might, too, be a highly sensitive person!
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How much do coaches make?

8/1/2016

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Coaching might be an incredibly fulfilling job, but not necessarily the most rewarding one. A staggering 84% of coaches make less than £2000/$3000 per month, and 40% of them earn less than £500/$750, according to Anastasia’s survey conducted in early January 2016*. Only 8.6% coaches take home more than £3000/$4500 per month from coaching.

Interestingly, £2000/$3000 in monthly earnings seems to be the most difficult barrier to overcome for coaches after the initial barrier of £500/$750.

​Notably, most of the respondents (87%) came from the developed English-speaking markets, so these rather disappointing earnings figures do not reflect the level of economic development, but rather the competitiveness of the coaching market, as well as the fact that aspiring coaches might be spending their precious time on things that are less important, than they think.
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Having only a few clients is one of the reasons coaches earn so little – 44% of coaches serve 5 or fewer clients, and nearly 4/5 – less than 10. At the same time, coaches who serve more than 10 clients start earning considerably more. It feels like some of us find ways to serve most clients.

Another reason for low earnings might be that coaches spend too much time trying to formulate a niche or getting locked in one (21% claim they haven’t defined a niche, but are trying to do so, and 15% that they only have one niche), whereas the highest earners claim they either have no niche at all and can’t bother to define one, or that they cover several niches. Both of these approaches seem to work.
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(The lack of) experience seems to be relevant only for the first two years of your coaching practice. Two years seems to be the time when we are figuring out what and how to do. The two top earners have 8-10 years of experience, but two mid-range ones only have 2-4 years, and one claims to have 5-7 years of experience. So if you have been in the profession for more than 2 years, in theory there’s nothing limiting you – apart from yourself. 
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The moral is, if you’ve been in coaching for less than 2 years, don’t waste your time on defining your coaching niche or coming up with complicated marketing strategies – try to get as many clients as you can, and things will work out. Also, don’t leave your full-time job just yet (or make sure you’ve got someone to support you through the first 2 years).
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If you’ve been playing with coaching for 2 or more years, and are still earning less than £2000/$3000 per month (and come from a major English-speaking country), maybe it’s time to face the truth that things aren’t going to change unless you make an effort, and you might as well continue to earn the same for the next ten years. Get over this psychological barrier of £2000/$3000 per month – somehow only a few people are capable of doing that, and once they’re on the other side, there isn’t much competition there. So do everything to cross this line – and maybe you’ll make it to my next year’s report as a top-5 earner.

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*About the survey
This anonymous survey was conducted by Anastasia from between the 4th-8th January 2016. It was published in 5 online professional coaching groups and communities (two on Linkedin, two on Facebook and a forum of CTI graduates) and collected a total of 58 answers. Participants from USA, the UK and Canada gave 87% of responses. Other respondents came from Australia, Germany, India, Israel, Peru, South Africa and the United Arab Emirates. Because this study was conducted online only and participants were self-selected, one should not assume that this survey is fully representative of the situation with the coaching industry as a whole. However, we believe that the trends outlined in this research are representative enough to generate a discussion of skills coaches need to get to grow their businesses.
USD/GBP exchange rates are not entirely representative, as USD rate has been rounded to the nearest hundred.

For press enquiries, please use the contact form. Any republishing only with the link to www.anastasia.tips website, please.

Do you want to make a breakthrough in your coaching practice?

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Anastasia worked for 10+ years in senior positions in digital marketing before founding her  two coaching businesses. One works with highly sensitive people and the other is a digital detox business.
I work with highly sensitive people, many of whom choose to be in helping professions. In spring 2016, I will be running Career Booster workshop for highly sensitive people, teaching them to use their sensitivity and intuition to build their successful business or career.

Whereas many of you have invested a lot of time in learning skills how to be a great coach, and thanks to your sensitivity you are very capable of delivering great results for the client, you might be lacking business skills, or feeling overwhelmed at the idea of having to expose yourself online, market to the unknown people etc.

However, digital marketing doesn't have to be inauthentic or overwhelming. ​If you want to have a breakthrough in your business based on who you are, you are looking for authentic ways to express yourself online and get new clients, the spring edition of Career Booster is for you. Read more, or ask me any questions!


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Tuesday Tips: Save Your Mornings!

22/12/2015

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What are your mornings like? Are you swamped with tonnes of unread emails, trying to follow-up on multiple requests, just to find out that by lunchtime they have only multiplied? Busy, but not doing much?
Morning is the only time when your nervous system is still not overloaded and you aren’t yet influenced by other people’s problems or emotions. So take advantage of it! Watch my Tuesday Tip to find out how!

Also, to help you design your perfect morning, I've create this magic 
checklist - print it out and use every morning before you go to work! It's magic because it allows you to seamlessly achieve what you want by focusing your attention on the right things. To make sure it works, read first these 10 productivity tips - they work especially well for Highly Sensitive People (you can know if you are one of them by taking this quick test).
Did you like this tip? Share it with your friends! I'd also love to learn how it worked for you - leave your comments below!
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Innovation, intuition and sensitivity: how to create innovation culture in your company

11/12/2015

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​So, you want your business to be innovative, your people to burst with ideas, and customers to queue for your new amazing products? And what do you to make this happen? Lead a brainstorming session? Get HR to organize a team-building exercise? Ask potential hires about how innovative they have been in their previous jobs? Or (my favourite) announce an intra-company competition for the “best innovative idea” (to be submitted by Monday in powerpoint)?
 
I’d love to hear from you if any of these really worked. No, really - I’d love to hear at least from one company out of many businesses who widely use these techniques that they work. Because from my experience (and from the experience of my multiple coaching colleagues) – they don’t. And here’s why.
What innovation is about
 
These solutions might generate you a few new ideas, but they don’t create innovation culture. Because innovation isn’t just about generating new ideas. It’s about observing and connecting the dots, seeing things from totally new angles, noticing the subtleties, underlying trends, exposing the unknown (often innovation happens when neither the question nor the answer are given).
 
Innovation is born in the culture of freely expressed ideas, doubts, where people can fail and try again. It’s thrives in an atmosphere where people aren’t afraid to speak up, and know that what they say may make a difference. Innovation is about using unconventional tools and allowing your employees to think different (and be unconventional/abnormal/different, too). It’s not about fitting into the “normal”, usual, conventional – because there is no space for innovation in the normal and usual. Innovation is very much about people who possess all of these qualities – able to freely express the ideas, challenge the status quo, think different, be curious without limitation, maybe look and behave unconventionally and likely not fitting in. They probably need space to sit and think, and they can’t guarantee the result by a certain date and time.
 
Do you like this description of a potential employee? I don’t think so. You probably want somebody a bit more agreeable, understandable, and predictable. Innovation is often born out of diversity, but modern businesses often misunderstand it. They say they want diversity and innovation, but they don’t people who don’t “fit in”. However, if you start listing all those qualities and ideal “innovation carrier” possesses, you may discover that these very people who do not “fit into” your organizations are probably your biggest innovation drivers – if you manage to find the appropriate roles for them and keep them motivated. If you constantly silence, control or ignore them, you will not create innovation culture, no matter how many thousands you pay to your Chief Innovation Officer, or to a consulting company to come up with a new strategy.
​
 
The tale of two tribes
 
Let me give you an example. Imagine we are back a few thousand years ago, and you lead a tribe. You hunt, there’s plenty food around and your tribe is doing just fine. However, there is one chap who comes to you and says: “I think we need to change the place. Magnolia this year has given almost no flowers”. You shrug the shoulders and carry on doing what you were doing, because who cares about the tree, if you primarily are a hunter. And he looks weird anyways, always wondering with his thoughts around, not much use during hunting.
 
He comes around another couple of times, and you eventually tell him “Look, this is a good place and has always been a good one, it’s proven by years and this is how we do things here, so stop annoying me”, so he stops saying anything (and perhaps leaves alone with a few other people – to your relief). However, in a few months you notice that the soil has become dryer, smaller animals are becoming thinner and weaker, there are fewer bigger ones, and long and behold, you are in the middle of a record drought. You ask priests to pray and make sacrifices, but it’s too late - most of your tribe members die because of the lack of food and water.
 
Imagine now that this watchful guy joins another tribe and tells them the same thing, and this tribe decides to listen to him. They ask him what is the correlation between magnolia and changing the place, and he says that he isn’t sure, but when the tree doesn’t blossom, he knows it’s trying to save its water, which means there’s no water left under its roots. They have a discussion inside the tribe and a few people volunteer to look for new places with plenty of water nearby. In a couple of weeks one of them comes back with news on a suitable place with a lot of food around, and all your tribe follows him and moves there. When the drought comes, they are still affected, but most of them survive. Next time when another member of the tribe notices something else, a couple of members of the tribe volunteer to test it, because in the past it has been hugely rewarded.
 
In first case, you failed to see the change coming and paid a price. In the second case, you gave space for observations, verified them by running an experiment (sending people to look for a new place). Based on that, you’ve changed your strategy, helped your tribe survive, and created an innovation culture.
The same is fully applicable to modern businesses.

High sensitivity and innovation

The watchful guy in question is likely to be a highly sensitive person. According to scientists (primarily Dr Elaine Aron who first spoke about the trait 20 years ago), about 20% of human population are highly sensitive. They have a very finely tuned nervous system that is able to recognize the subtleties in the surrounding environment. They process information much deeper than most people, are deeply intuitive and empathetic, and are great at connecting the dots and making sense of seemingly unrelated facts. High sensitivity has a huge evolutionary importance as it helped the survival of the whole human species, as highly sensitive people were the first ones to notice any change in the environment and report to their tribes.
 
However, high sensitivity comes with a price. Although it’s not a disease, highly sensitive people tend to get overwhelmed by too much sensorial stimuli (like noise, strong smells), they can appear shy, can easily get intimidated and afraid to speak up as they react very strongly to criticism. They can get very emotional for no obvious reason or seem too slow to react or learn (in reality, in both cases it means they can’t cope with processing so much information in a short time frame). They are also often feel discouraged to speak up if they cannot logically justify their decision, as intuition often appears before the logic catches up with it – especially if they are sensitive males (the trait is evenly spread between men and women). When constantly told that they are saying non-sense or ignored, they stop trusting themselves, and may shut down, becoming of no use to people around them. They need time and space to think, they find regular office environment especially open-plan offices overwhelming and draining. And yes, they often look, feel and talk different from everyone else.
 
What does sensitivity have to do with innovation? You might have guessed it already – highly sensitive people are those who’ll drive your innovation forward. They get the core of innovation process – observe, compare, synthesize information, connect the dots, pull new solutions from unexpected sources and other areas. For example, Dyson bagless vacuum cleaners were created based on a simple idea of a cyclone in the lumberyard, as using bags was keeping the dust inside the cleaner and preventing it from sucking dust fully.
 
What it means for your organization
 
First of all, try to identify highly sensitive people within your company (every fifth person on earth is an HSP so there should be a few), and make sure that their job description reflects their strengths – ability to synthesize information, work between different departments, with projects and tasks still not defined, and – very importantly – in their own rhythm. There’s a test you can use to check if the person is sensitive.
While doing this, you may discover that a lot of people who aren’t fitting in/have been reported as a problem are actually highly sensitive. They are no rebels by nature, not at all – they simply can’t find a place for themselves within your organization where they can “serve the tribe”, and is this has been happening for a while, they likely got very stressed, mistrusting to themselves and shut down.
 
Second – make sure that they are valued for their insights and nurtured for qualities that come in the same package as sensitivity – empathy, intuition, conscientiousness, ability to process a lot of different pieces of information and notice subtleties, and give valueable insights based on them. Encourage them to trust in themselves. Don’t judge them for being too emotional or overreacting to certain things. Don’t try to control them – they need to do things in their own way, as their brain works differently. You can support them by setting up mentoring programs, explaining to them and everyone else in the company the traits of sensitivity, or getting in a coach who works with highly sensitive people to have a training with managers on how to manage such people.
Create a culture where it’s safe to speak up. This doesn’t mean that ideas should not be discussed or criticized – it only helps when they are – but there should be room to implement those ideas, and also room to have weird ideas. And of course, criticism should never get personal.
 
Third – don’t force your people to use only one part of the brain. Encourage both right-brain and left-brain thinking, as well as using different senses. Design thinking is probably the most used process to create innovation, but it mainly relies on visual perception – but how about other senses?
In the age of big data, we are tempted to back up all our decision with numbers – but unfortunately, data can’t always answer all our questions. Any statistician would tell you that data can’t show you the causality, but only the correlation, and that data is meaningless unless you know, which question to want to answer using it – and often during the innovation process the question is not defined. Made.com, a UK online design furniture retailer, understood this principle really well and created an innovative culture that’s driven by a combination of data analysis and experiments. They use data to pick up a few potentially leading products, and then allocate small teams to launch first products and features based on their intuition. It doesn’t cost much money and effort and allows for more flexibility in case things don’t work out. Having small flexible teams experimenting with things and using both senses and two parts of the brain would work best.
 
If you manage to tap into the potential of highly sensitive people who already work in your organization, and create an environment for them that makes them flourish, you will guarantee your competitive advantage and constant flow of innovation for many years ahead.
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Digital Detox for Highly Sensitive People

26/9/2015

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This is my piece for hsphealth.com website about my personal experience as a highly sensitive person of being overwhelmed by too much digital media, and ways I coped with it. 
So here I was again, crying on the floor of my tiny rented studio from an unbearable migraine and fatigue, weak and desperate after a day in the office. I seemed to have finally landed in a decent digital marketing role I’ve always wanted – a great brand, professional and ambitious colleagues, a decent salary – and yet I was at the edge of a severe depression. I was looking forward to getting to the office on Monday morning, but by the second half of Tuesday I was already feeling tired, and from Wednesday onwards would end up in tears every evening. I didn’t feel like talking to my colleagues, nor like going out anywhere. The weekend was just enough to recover. What’s wrong with me? Click to read the whole article

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A Highly Sensitive Person at Work: Survival Guide (Part 1)

12/6/2015

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If you are a highly sensitive person, chances are you are quite different from your colleagues. You may find a typical office background noise more distracting than they do. You are likely to get more easily overwhelmed when you’ve got much going on. You may feel more tired after a whole day of staring at computer screen, or need extra time to withdraw somewhere quiet and dark after an intense meeting with many people.

Does it sound like you?

If so - don’t worry, there is nothing wrong with you - this is a typical “side effect” of being highly sensitive. Highly Sensitive People (or HSPs) is a scientific term. It refers to people who are believed to have a genetic ability to notice more subtleties in their environment than most people, and process more sensory input from it, including sounds, lights, temperature etc. They are not sick and don’t need any treatment – it’s just that their nervous system and mind are more “fine-tuned”.

Think about sensitivity as a super-expensive medical knife that can be used for the most delicate surgery thanks to its sophistication and sharpness. However, if the same knife is used to cut bread, chances are it will break down or become dull, and so can no longer be used for a surgery. Same way, highly sensitive people will flourish in the right conditions, or shut down and/or experience stress-related issues if they are continually overwhelmed.

Because highly sensitive people are in the minority (it is believed that only about 20% of all humans belong to HSPs), most companies are not structured to support them. So a highly sensitive person might struggle to have a successful career, especially at an early stage. However, being highly sensitive does not mean you cannot be successful - it's just a question of learning to manage and "sell" your sensitivity. The following five tips will help you with that:

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1.       Understand that people see the world differently
Most problems a highly sensitive person gets at work arise because people don’t get them. As previously said, 80-85% of people are not highly sensitive, and so they genuinely don’t understand why you are bothered about food smell at the desk, loud music or an air conditioner. They might even not notice something that will seem to you like a major thing impacting your well-being and productivity. They even may enjoy this little stimulation, otherwise their nervous system is dormant, and will think you are too demanding when you ask them to turn the music volume down.
Explaining what sensitivity is to a non-sensitive person is a bit like trying to explain to a blind person what colors are. You need to “sell” your sensitivity in the language they can understand. For instance, if you need time to withdraw after a meeting, don't say you are overwhelmed, but mention you are going somewhere to write down the thoughts that came to your mind after the meeting. Or make a joke that you need a cup of tea to warm yourself up after a chilly conversation with a client. People are afraid of what they don't understand, so use humor and keep things really simple.

2.       Incorporate regular breaks throughout the day
If you are a highly sensitive person, you need more rest than most people to recharge your nervous system. I remember this made me really upset in my younger age, as most of my colleagues were able to carry on working. Having built a successful career in several fields, I can assure you now it's not the question of working harder, but working smarter with fewer distractions.

It may sound counterintuitive, but the most efficient thing to do for a highly sensitive person at work is to incorporate breaks every hour or so for a few minutes not to accumulate stress. Because if you don' rest, it will take you much longer to recover after you break down. Taking rest for a highly sensitive person means doing something that involves as little stimulation as possible – so no computer, possibly no chatting to colleagues, but taking a few moment to be somewhere quite, or even better having a little walk outside. 
Ideally, you want to manage your schedule yourself and this should be your priority at work. If you do, do not put several meetings one after another. Switch between meetings and personal activities. As a highly sensitive person, you need time to recharge after one intense experience.
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3.       Know what triggers you
We all are stimulated by different things – some of us are more sensitive to noise, some to smells, some to information overload. You can take this little test to see what stimulates you compared to other highly sensitive people. Notice what triggers your sensitivity, and start consciously managing it. For instance, if your trigger is noise, make sure you have a pair of earplugs when you work (earplugs are way better than earphones for an HSP, as music adds stimulation). In my experience, wax earplugs are the best ones, as they don't let any noise in and are also not irritating to the ear.
If you absolutely cannot avoid the trigger, try minimizing it. For instance, if you know you get tired after the flight and being in the airport among crowds of people, do not set up important meetings for that day. Go on a business trip a night before to have proper rest.
A typical trigger for all HSPs is multitasking. People aren’t generally good at multitasking as has been proven by multiple researchers, but as an HSP you need to be even more careful because any distraction has a bigger impact on you than on your non-sensitive colleagues. You need to organize your work so that you have enough time to dedicate to one particular task and aren’t disturbed in between. This means you may need to book a closed room, ask everyone not to approach you for two hours, and switch off all notifications, all sound signals on your communication devices and put them face down. If you’re waiting for an important call, you should not be working on something that requires your concentration. Similarly, do not open more than one tab when browsing online. Multitasking isn’t good for your brain.

4.       Watch your diet
As a highly sensitive person, you have to be extremely careful about how you eat, as you are more sensitive to sugar than most people (your nervous system literally gets exploded every time you consume sugar). This means that a regular office chocolate/biscuit snacking is out of question. When tired, we are not able to tell what’s good and what’s bad for us, so make sure to have something healthy (and yet yummy) in your desk instead of sugary stuff. 
As an HSP, you are very likely to be more affected by caffeine than most people, so it’s best not to consume it altogether, or if you do, not to drink coffee on the days when you’ve got a lot going.

5.       Talk about your work, not sensitivity
The last thing you want to do after you’ve read this text is to go to your boss or colleagues and tell them you’re highly sensitive, and therefore they should start treating you in a different way. If you did that, you’d be seen either as difficult, or sick. 
What you really want to do is to show them how your work might be impacted if a certain problem causing you extra stimulation (i.e. sitting next to a noisy scanner) will not be resolved.  Focus on the extra value you’ll be able to provide. For instance, if you are negotiating flexible working hours, tell them how you’ll be able to better concentrate and call more customers when it’s less noisy around. 
It obviously helps if you are doing well in your job, and your boss is happy (make sure that they are by giving them the highlights of your key achievements on a weekly basis – it’s not bragging, it’s PR). If this is not the case, you may want to work a little harder (or rather, smarter) before you negotiate anything. The good news is that your bargain power will improve dramatically the more senior you become, so it’s the question of surviving through the early stages of your career.

Bonus track
Most importantly, start being nice to yourself and appreciate your sensitivity. Many highly sensitive people feel they are different and have been punished for that at work or at home, and so try to downgrade their sensitivity to “fit in”. 
Instead of punishing yourself for not being able to cope as most people, think about all the great things you are able to do thanks to being sensitive. You probably know what other people want or expect, are able to build great relationships, forecast trends and make conclusions without having all necessary information thanks to your intuition. Start appreciating your sensitivity, and your colleagues and bosses will do so, too.



See more tips at Part II of the article

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Anastasia Dedyukhina, professional coach, start-up mentor and a highly sensitive person
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Are You Sensitive? This Can Be Your Biggest Career Advantage

4/6/2015

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George, a 48-year old partner in a reputable consulting firm, has always praised himself for his analytical abilities. He’s great at structuring the most complicated projects, and selling his solution to the most demanding client. It has happened on a several occasions that George saved a big project by understanding what the client really wanted (and not what he was saying he wanted) and suggesting that before anyone else. 

In fact, this ability has allowed George to build some wonderful client relationships and become a partner in his firm, in spite of being generally seen as a reserved and even shy person.

When his colleagues ask him how he does that, George doesn’t know what to answer, since it seems so natural to him just to know what people want. Because he needs to say something, he starts pointing out various analytical tools he uses, but it doesn’t help his colleagues much, because all employees in his firm are aware of these tools – and yet somehow George is always the one who knows more about the client. The company finds him so valuable that it’s happy to overlook his constant need to withdraw and stay at home during busy days, and even recently allowed him to work part-time.

What George is not aware of is that his main strength is not his analytical abilities, but a laser-sharp intuition, which often comes together with difficulties to manage stress.

George is a classic example of a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP (you can take this quick test to check if you are one of them, too). Although he doesn’t know anything about HSPs, he has probably noticed the good and bad sides of this trait all the time. 


What's High Sensitivity?
High sensitivity is not an illness, but rather a genetic modification that occurs in about 20% of humans (and some higher animals), who process information deeper and notice more subtleties in their environment. HSPs have a larger number of mirror neurons – brain cells responsible for fast learning and imitation. These people are highly intuitive and empathetic, and can easily guess what the other feels or needs, often without asking specific questions. This quality makes them great at any job that requires helping other people or client relationship, or trend watching, and HSPs can build a great career if they get into these fields.

Unfortunately, the gift of sensitivity can also become the biggest burden, since Highly Sensitive People get overwhelmed more than other people when things get busy. Their nervous system gets easily overloaded with excessive noise, bright light or other sensory stimuli. When they do, they become quite unsociable or can even fall sick. Because they process more information and do it deeper than most people, they need more time to recover – quite a luxury in the modern corporate environment. 


In his company George has earned a reputation of a hardworking introvert, because in busy days he closes down in his office and doesn’t talk to anyone. The truth is although George likes people, he just needs to take time off during and after busy projects. George’s best way of having the rest is being in the nature, and he spends weekends walking in the English countryside with his phone off.

Being Sensitive in a Corporate World
There are quite a few Georges out there in the corporate world, but it’s difficult to recognize them at first. Statistically, the same proportion of men and women are born with a high sensitivity trait. Yet, because in our society mostly women are allowed to be intuitive and empathetic, a highly sensitive George needs to mask to be just like any other guy. 

A George can choose quite an analytical and brainy profession that require a lot of research and data processing, but also some interaction with other people – like project manager, consultant, or scientist. He is also very drawn to “helping” professions like therapists, coaches, or HR/recruitment, or can make a very talented artist. Many successful leaders are HSPs because they are quite capable to understand other people and inspire them - Abraham Lincoln is believe to be one. But most often, male HSPs who want to have a career in the corporate environment prefer to shut down and hide their “craziness” from others, blaming themselves for not being able to be up to the competition all the time.

It has taken George many years to recognize his intuitive ability, and it only happened because a woman he adored told him he had a great intuition, which he found pleasurable. When he started reading more about it and discovered he was an HSP, a lot of things started falling into place for him. George was able to accept his sensitivity and understand how it has helped him to build a successful career, also sometimes intervening with it and keeping him away from people.


HSP's success factors
When we talk, George admits that had he known about his trait earlier, he might have been as successful, but would have paid a lower price for that. He wouldn’t force himself to work or be in the meetings when he really felt he needed time to rest and think. He might have chosen to structure his day in a different way, so that he has more time for reflection and having more meaningful conversations with fewer people. 


He also understands now why he has always avoided large social gatherings and how somehow he never got the clients from these events, although it’s a common belief that you need to socialize to build your network. The truth is that HSPs hate chit-chat, and are far better in building deep and long-lasting relationships than doing small talks.

If you are a Highly Sensitive Person, it’s not uncommon to worry about being overwhelmed at work or feeling that you react to certain things stronger than most people. Yet, this is not an obstacle for a successful career (and again, not an illness or something that needs to be cured). Simply being aware of this trait and knowing how to structure your life around it and “sell” its advantages to your employer will help. 


Also quite a lot of Highly Sensitive People end up working as independent contractors or building their own business because they can’t adapt to the corporate environment (Steve Jobs is a perfect example of an extremely successful visionary HSP). The good news is that you can learn to manage your trait very efficiently, and make it your competitive advantage. If you want to learn how to have a successful career or business being an HSP – sign up for my newsletters below. In these newsletters, I am discussing suitable career and business strategies for HSPs and how they can become successful while remaining who they really are – intuitive and sensitive human beings.

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The Gift and Challenge of Being Highly Sensitive

25/4/2015

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Have you ever been told that you are too sensitive or overreacting, especially as a kid? If so, chances are that you belong to approximately 20% of the population, who researchers call Highly Sensitive People (HSPs). They aren't by any mean neurotics or introverts - HSPs are perfectly normal mentally and enjoy being around others, but are much more sensitive to various stimuli in their environment - whether it’s noise, smell, or the mood of people around them.

Some people are born with blue eyes, and some are with brown. HSPs are born with high sensitivity. They always know how you are feeling, or sense that something has happened without asking, and pay a lot of attention to the smallest details. For this reason they often end up working as helping professionals, such as psychologists, social or charity workers. They are deeply moved by arts and music, and so many of them can be found in artistic circles, too.


Their brain is believe to react differently to various stimuli, trying to process more information at once than "normal" people". HSPs are believed to have a very important evolutionary role in the society - using their intuition, they can sense any upcoming changes or danger in the environment much faster than others, and alert them, helping the human species to survive. 

It's interesting to note that other animals, including monkeys, also have Highly Sensitive species among them, and so they clearly serve some great evolutionary purpose.

Drawbacks of being highly sensitive

High Sensitivity, though, comes with a big price. HSPs get easily overwhelmed by excessive stimulation - for instance, when the music is too loud, or when they have too many things going on at the same time. Highly sensitive children can fall sick if they have been communicating for too long with their counterparts just because they got too many impressions. These people are most often exposed to psychosomatic illnesses and need considerable amount of time to withdraw from social life to recharge their batteries. HSPs are not necessarily introverts though - it has been calculated that about 30% of highly sensitive people are in fact extraverted, and many introverts are not highly sensitive, either.

No wonder that to those who aren’t highly senstivie, HSPs might seem too demanding, difficult or fragile, and might be tricky to understand, especially in an office space. If put in the right environment, HSPs would thrive, but in a wrong environment they completely shut down, or become antisocial and difficult to deal with.


Although high sensitivity is equally distributed between men and women, it is largely believed in most societies that it's more natural for a woman, and not for a man, to be sensitive, and so it takes enormous courage to a highly sensitive man to stick to his true nature and not shut down. 

Often because people who are born highly sensitive aren’t encouraged enough to cultivate that in their early childhood (Oh, sweetheart, you are too sensitive - you shouldn’t be that way! is a common way to shut your sensitivity down), they develop layers and layers of protection. To an outsider, a well-adapted HSP can appear hypermasculine or extremely practical and cynical. But behind that shell, there’s a very delicate nature that can be a big advantage - if properly used.

Another survival strategy an HSP can adopt is to avoid difficult or challenging situations that might potentially overwhelm him. They are likely to try to avoid a conflict or drama at all costs, often at the expense of their own boundaries.

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How to live as a highly sensitive person?

So how do you thrive if you are a highly sensitive person? Chances are, you have already developed some strategy throughout your childhood and it has been more or less successful since you are alive and reading this post. However, instead of survival mechanism, you may want to look at other strategies to adapt that will allow yourself to thrive and use your gift and not just bear it.

First of all, please, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. Yes, you are in the minority and most people are not like you, but this does not mean that you are crazy or need to be fixed in any way. Quite the opposite - because only a few people have this gift, what you might for years have been thinking is your great weakness can actually be your greatest strength. Some of the most successful business people are highly sensitive, because they can sense opportunities before anyone else does. They are able to become great leaders because they feel the mood and desires of people around them. 

If you are a men, being highly sensitive does not mean that you're not masculine - but your partners might find it much easier to connect with you!

Give yourself a permission to be highly sensitive - because a lot of people may benefit from your gift in professional and personal life. As a highly sensitive person, you need to be aware of the fact that it’s perfectly normal to want to withdraw from time to time, and so need to organize your life accordingly and let people around you know about it. Even if you are working in an office, it’s perfectly fine to want to hide in a closed room with your cup of coffee for some time and yet afterwards want to talk to people again.

As an HSP, you need to watch very carefully how much time you are spending online and connected. If you are on your phone/laptop 24/7, chances are that you are overstimulating yourself and getting exhausted. You more than anyone else need to be able to consciously unplug.

How to deal with a highly sensitive person

When dealing with a highly sensitive person, please, take into account that they might overreact to many things, and easily get exhausted if they get too much information at once. If you are a boss and one of your employees is constantly spending time in the bathroom or asks to work from home, there’s a chance that they are not simply trying to skive off work, but are a self-adjusting HSP. One highly sensitive person I talked complained that she absolutely could not stay in the shop she was working in because it had music in the background, and she was strongly disturbed by it. Her bosses could not believe that until she showed them the research on HSPs.

A highly sensitive child needs very strong discipline and boundaries to enable him to function well in the society. Because they have a stronger need to withdraw, make sure that they don’t have their communication devices on and with them all the time - they need some rest time, even though they might not yet recognize it. They are also more influenced by anything around them, so you need to watch them very carefully for any negative influence.

Highly sensitive people who experienced problems in their childhood are more at risk to suffer from different kinds of disorders, including depression, anxiety or various dependancies. However, those whose childhoods have been normal, are no different to others (perhaps, as the researchers point out, are even slightly happier
). So nurture your highly sensitive child (or your inner child if you are highly sensitive yourself), and you're likely to feel happier than most of others.

If you are curious whether you are a highly sensitive person, you may want to take this test to determine it (takes only a couple of minutes), or come back to it after you're finished reading.

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    Who is Anastasia?

    Chief inspirator, start-up mentor, professional Co-Active life coach and career coach, systems worker and passionate tango dancer. Get to know me! 

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