For some people money isn’t just the main thing. They value freedom, connection, knowledge, creativity or an opportunity to make an impact. So when they have to ask money for their work (because we all need at some point, whether we like it or not), they feel deeply uncomfortable, embarrassing or below their self-esteem to have this talk. Whether it’s quoting their fees to a prospective client or asking for a pay rise, they struggle to claim their worth
This is especially true for highly sensitive people – about 20% of human population who have a very finely tuned nervous system and perceive the world more intensely and in more details, much louder/brighte then the rest. They are often highly empathetic and influenced by other people’s emotions. They notice details and subtleties, are conscientious, care about others’ feelings and react stronger to criticism. They also think deeper, and as a result, might also take longer to take a decision.
A key "feature" of a highly sensitive person is that they are never motivated by money – they are interested in having an impact, doing meaningful things. And they often think they aren’t qualified or ready enough, too. Because of this, they often aren’t claiming their worth and go underpaid-borderline struggling.
If you are a highly sensitive person who’s finding it difficult to express their worth in monetary terms, these two quick exercises will help you re-frame your attitude to money.
1. Asking for money is not about being selfish.
Make a list of all things you’d be able to do if you had more money. Would you go travelling, help your parents, have more energy to do amazing projects that make others happy? Would you spend less energy on worrying about tomorrow, and so will be able to be more present with people around you? I bet most of things on your list have to do with other people. At the end of the day, we only become happy when we can share something with others. Isn’t asking for money worth it in this light?
So next time you have the "money talk", think about all these great things you'd be able to accomplish and better serve others as a result - it will help you immensely overcome your discomfort.
2. Receiving money means you equally recognize your and other people’s contribution.
Think about the impact that you have on other people thanks to your work. List all that has changed in their lives thanks to you.
Do you organize festivals? How many people have experienced joy thanks to your work, that will keep them warm for years ahead? Do you write amazing books that change people’s lives? Are you a fitness coach who can help anyone get back in touch with the joy of managing their body? Or is your work saving somebody's time, so that they accomplish something truly meaningful to them?
If you are not asking enough money for the value you provide, what you are literally telling these people is: “My work really doesn’t have any value for you, and so does your experience”. People are happy to pay for what truly makes a difference in their lives – by asking for money you help them realize that you have made a difference, or are about to.
Now, next time you have the “money” talk, remember: don’t talk about yourself, talk about what you can do for them when getting paid all this money. Let me know how it goes - post your comments below!
PS Next week, 15-22 February, I am running a free online week-long Money Marathon for people who want to learn to express their self-worth. We'll be exploring your perception of money and removing the blockages around it. Join us here!
A key "feature" of a highly sensitive person is that they are never motivated by money – they are interested in having an impact, doing meaningful things. And they often think they aren’t qualified or ready enough, too. Because of this, they often aren’t claiming their worth and go underpaid-borderline struggling.
If you are a highly sensitive person who’s finding it difficult to express their worth in monetary terms, these two quick exercises will help you re-frame your attitude to money.
1. Asking for money is not about being selfish.
Make a list of all things you’d be able to do if you had more money. Would you go travelling, help your parents, have more energy to do amazing projects that make others happy? Would you spend less energy on worrying about tomorrow, and so will be able to be more present with people around you? I bet most of things on your list have to do with other people. At the end of the day, we only become happy when we can share something with others. Isn’t asking for money worth it in this light?
So next time you have the "money talk", think about all these great things you'd be able to accomplish and better serve others as a result - it will help you immensely overcome your discomfort.
2. Receiving money means you equally recognize your and other people’s contribution.
Think about the impact that you have on other people thanks to your work. List all that has changed in their lives thanks to you.
Do you organize festivals? How many people have experienced joy thanks to your work, that will keep them warm for years ahead? Do you write amazing books that change people’s lives? Are you a fitness coach who can help anyone get back in touch with the joy of managing their body? Or is your work saving somebody's time, so that they accomplish something truly meaningful to them?
If you are not asking enough money for the value you provide, what you are literally telling these people is: “My work really doesn’t have any value for you, and so does your experience”. People are happy to pay for what truly makes a difference in their lives – by asking for money you help them realize that you have made a difference, or are about to.
Now, next time you have the “money” talk, remember: don’t talk about yourself, talk about what you can do for them when getting paid all this money. Let me know how it goes - post your comments below!
PS Next week, 15-22 February, I am running a free online week-long Money Marathon for people who want to learn to express their self-worth. We'll be exploring your perception of money and removing the blockages around it. Join us here!
