Anastasia's Money Marathon: Day 3 (Wednesday)

The Money Marathon Day 3 (Wednesday)

17/2/2016

Awesome work, everyone! It's day three of our marathon! If you just joined the marathon, Day 1 and Day 2 are here.
Today’s 2-part task:

1. Spending day again. It’s £5,000 to spend today (or $7,250). Oh, yes.
Condition: all this money MUST be spent today. As you are spending, answer these four questions:
a)    What’s the feeling arising when you hear that you need to spend this money today? Lightness, happiness or discomfort? Where do you feel this sensation? What is it like?

b)    Will you discuss with anyone the spending or tell anyone about the money?

c)    What will you spend it on (please, be very specific as in the Day 2 post – actually plan your spending, study the prices, imagine/describe the experiences or things you’ll buy. I.e. instead of saying “I will buy a new bag” say “I will get a dark grey Chanel bag for £2,700). I want you to experience the spending process with as many sense as you can, ok?

d)    What’s happening with your body when you imagine yourself spending this money?

2. Remember, what’s the favourite phrase/tradition in the family regarding money? For example, “we have no money for it”. Or “earning money is difficult, don’t waste it”, or maybe some story related to money comes up for you (how somebody lost/found it etc).

Share your answers in comments!

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13 Comments

Chiara

17/2/2016 07:39:54 pm

Probably I would feel a bit of discomfort in the fact that I need to spend it today and I cannot plan on what to spend it on. I would get a feeling in my stomach probably.
I would probably end up getting myself a ticket to India or to Bali and pay for the accomodation and everything. Then I would book some nice treats for me like a massage, hair dresser and these kinds of things. Maybe also a couple of courses I wanted to do.
I will def tell some friends and parents I reckon.
Once I m Spending the money I am quite positive I would feel a bit guilty. But while I m in Bali doing a yoga course I would love it!
Yes I suppose the phrase was - money is difficult to get - so it s nicer when you can plan how to spend it.

Anastasia

18/2/2016 09:20:45 am

Thanks for the comment! I'd encourage you to talk to this "discomfort". What does it look like? What is it wanting?

Olga

18/2/2016 01:29:27 pm

1a.
I had a heavy feeling ("Again? More spending?"), my mouth turned to look like :(
As I struggled with spending money on days 1-2 (comments were eaten by the system, and I can't type them again) and didn't feel any joy choosing things, it seemed so unfair that I had this burden again. The heaviness is below my neck/throat, and it's spreading down, becoming bitter.

b.
I'd ask my brother for advice/list of what to buy.

2.
There are both mentioned, performed by Dad: "We have no money", "Don't spend anything", every time stressing how hard he works to earn money, how much work hurts his back.
Mom often speaks about double standards: Dad says he has no money, "Don't spend anything", then half an hour later they walk into the shop, and he's like, "Let's buy new chairs. And table."

Olga

18/2/2016 03:52:34 pm

And I'm still not sure how much the sum to spend will be for people from developing countries? I can live for 3 years for 5,000 quid here.

Anastasia

19/2/2016 10:18:04 am

Olga, my intuition tells me to look at this belief of yours — earning money requires working hard and giving up one’s health. Of course you would be resisting any money coming in if some part of you believed in it! How is this belief serving you?

Olga

22/2/2016 04:20:28 am

This belief (earning money requires giving up one’s health) is strong as it actually happened before (when my hands hurt and I lost ability to type), and I'm reminded about it from time to time, when I type or use touchpad or even write too much. I don't want it to happen again, and I can't see how I can operate with words without hours at the keyboard.

Anastasia

18/2/2016 05:12:54 pm

Oh wow, Olga, your body really seems to be resisting the idea of having any money. How do you see it related to your family beliefs about money?

Olga

19/2/2016 02:34:16 am

Family beliefs:
My grandma’s strategy is saving money. Saving electricity and water because it’s money.
My dad’s beliefs are:
— a person who earns money has the right to buy and decide what everyone else needs,
— earning money is caring about family → the person who refuses to work extra hours and get extra cash for their kids doesn’t deserve respect,
— earning money requires working hard and giving up one’s health,
— “if you [that’s me] don’t learn how to earn money, what will you do when we die?”
My last settings:
— I have too little energy to spend it on earning money.
— I don’t really need much, and I won’t buy anything as told.
— I can get a lot of things for free. Best things are free.
----------------
1. My income isn't enough for me, and I don't want to spend much, so when parents tell me that I shouldn't spend much money, I agree: it's their money anyway.
2. I wasn't happy when I was earning money and buying things. I didn't get enough money to treat myself.
3. The feeling is by my neck, probably because a few other bad things are connected with my neck (thoughts about strangling/choking, increased growth of thyroid, a borderline between head and body that are two different kingdoms).

Helena

18/2/2016 03:23:11 pm

1. In no particular order, sorry if this reads messy. My first thought: Oh, wow! Now we’re talking about the real deal! I can actually DO something with this money, not just close the gaps. So:
- I still have the debt on the card left, so I’d use 1,200 to pay all my debts. This leaves me with 3,800 (still a lot).
- Second thought – maybe I should pay in advance for electricity/gas bills, while I have this money. Third thought – maybe I can go celebrate it and get myself something decent, like a really nice purse or something (hello mom! – both are the things she’d do instantly). I don’t really need one, , actually, but in my head I am making calculations that I can do something with a “round sum” of 3500, and so 300 don’t really matter, so I can spend it on myself. This is terrifying, this is EXACTLY how I operate, and this is just such a stupid logic!
- Ok, anyways – left with 3,500 now. First thought - perhaps I can upgrade something in my apartment, like a new lamp, or maybe get a new laptop, then – well, I actually don’t need any of these, it’s kind of good to have, but not necessary. And I’m travelling now anyways, and don’t know when I am back, so no need to do something about the flat, and my computer still works well? So ok, will pay the utility bills in advance for one year – that’d be around a thousand pounds. Left with 2,500 now.
- Interestingly, it didn’t occur to me that I could give this money to somebody else until I scrolled back to see your question of whether I’d tell anyone about the money. Seeing it, I realize that I’d actually book a trip for my mom somewhere nice where she always wanted to go, maybe with her husband, and give her some shopping money – that’d be 2,000 altogether with tickets. Maybe a trip to the US, or Spain. I start smiling when thinking about it, as I see them full of joy. I wouldn’t tell them though how much I’ve spent on it, otherwise they’d say it’s too expensive and won’t accept it. Probably will lie something that I’ve got it as a bonus gift through my work, or something.
- This leaves me with 500 pounds. Thinking to use it to extend some of my business subscriptions, memberships etc.
Oh wow. I can’t believe I wrote what I wrote. I clearly have no idea what to do with money – I first become excited that I can use it for something big, and not close the gaps, and then end up doing exactly that!
2. In our family, we often used precisely the phrase you’ve written, “we’ve got no money”. However, I can hardly remember the times when this was actually true – somehow we always had something to eat and to pay the bills, and also even to buy things we wanted. So on one hand, there’s a constant feeling of lacking the money/opportunities, on the other hand – feeling so constrained by it that once the money comes in, there was a need to spend it all straight away. This is probably how I operate, too.
In the family, we also believe that “one shouldn’t save money on food or health”, which is probably why I end up having enormous bills for eating out. Like, I never watch what I’m ordering.
Also my parents always argued about the money, because my dad thought my mom us spending it unreasonably, living the lifestyle we aren’t earning enough for. Not sure how this is reflected in my life.
Overall, an interesting exercise and it comes as a total surprise that I have no good use for the money I was so excited to have.

Anastasia

19/2/2016 10:21:37 am

Helena, here's what I see:
Your priority number one is to build a solid foundation (i.e. get rid of debt etc), and yet you have a desire to combine it with going forward. But then something happens, and this movement doesn't happen, and instead of moving forward you spend even more money on building the foundation (i.e. bills etc - which is nice to do, but not mandatory, according to your own words).
Does this resonate with you?
I also notice that your perception of money changes depending on the sum, and this is normal for all of us. I wouldn't be so judgmental about it.

Lisa

19/2/2016 10:00:42 pm

1a) Feeling: Lightness, excitement and 'opening up' - I feel this moving up from my stomach, up through my chest and into my head which now feels freer and more open to possibilities.

b) I would tell my parents, sister and close friends about the money as they would notice me spending it and would ask where it had come from!

c) I would book a 10-day snowboarding holiday in Hokkaido (Northern Japan) with my sister - and pay for both of us. This would use around £2,500 for the whole trip including flights.
I wold also book a 1 week free-diving course in Egypt, which I would do after coming back from Japan. This would cost £1,500 including flights.
I have £1,000 left. I would buy a decent Nikon DSLR camera so I could start exploring my love of photographing nature.

d) I feel quite excited in my stomach, but at the same time my brain is whirring, thinking 'Is this really what I want to spend it on or am I missing out on doing something else with it? So many possibilities!'

2. Family phrase: 'And we only spent £xx on it!' - it's always celebrated how little you've spent on something / how much you've saved / what a bargain you got.

Anastasia

21/2/2016 10:11:38 pm

How did/does this family phrase impact your life/spending choices?

Floriano

3/3/2016 07:28:02 pm

Rolex Daytona da 500 £

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Who is Anastasia?

Chief inspirator, start-up mentor, professional Co-Active life coach and career coach, systems worker and passionate tango dancer. Get to know me!

The Money Marathon Day 3 (Wednesday)

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The Money Marathon Day 3 (Wednesday)

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